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I Hate My Mother

I just hate the way i'm being treated at my home.....sry its not a home its like hell...
my mother...i hate callin her mother she never acted so
she always wants me to be the topper....in cladsss...
i cant be so...she always stresses me out...though i got 93.5%, she counts it as fail marks...she compares wid my frnzzs marks and scholds me
she makes me guilty over myself...she also says that i'm the most unsuccessful one...
i cant understand....y she does so...she always opens our family records and says that among all her family i am the most intelligent...
she black mails me indirectly...she never lets me sit before my pc....
i feel like commitin suicide...
she shows partiality ....she loves my brother more than me.....
she never allows mwe to bunk my college to study at home...she is highly suspicious person..and when i solve test papers online..she says i play games...
i hate that lady...i just wish to leave this world...i hate her....my brother is the most un trustworthy person and i cant share all this with him...he complains to my mama whatever i do...he is a fool....
but i dont wanna die...i just wanna share my feelins wid someone trustworthy....
i can do nothin but weep....she even counts weepin and helplessnes to anger...

spking195 spking195 18-21, M 3 Responses Apr 25, 2012

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Wow... I'm reading this after an year, and this seems pretty silly. Lol.

hey. I'm sorry your going through this. Mothers are generally bit nicer to their sons than their daughters, but in your case I guess its a bit more extreme. You tried telling her how you feel? Wheres your dad in all this?

my mom wont listen...she just keeps on tellin i'm useless.....she uses me for her needs....she pretends love
my dad isn't at home he has gone to trainin for 3 months...

sorry i thought you were a female, i was seeing this from you being a daughter point of a view. Is there anyone in the family you can talk to about this,maybe an uncle or aunt? cousins?

no....only i have to talk with my church members....
dunno whan to approach them...!!
i've to find a reason to go to their house.....my mother doesn't like them much...and she says that they caused me to score less.....
can't understand!!

one serious thing happened....me n my mother querreled this morning....i shouted at her to kill me....i told how i feel...
but as usual she didnot listen.....she said i'm insane....
i told her to kill me...asked her why did they have me.....

oh , and it just reflected of her? one thing, dont go through your live thinking you have no purpose. When we are raised by parents who treat us like shi*, we tend to feel like a waste of space even long after they are gone. They programme us like that. Its not true. You got serious family issues, take it up with the people who can help. If its church then go there. You're a big boy, you have the legs to go there with or without her knowing. She finds out just say, i try talking to you but you dont listen, I want people in my life who actually listen to me.

Ya......tomorrow is sunday and i have to go n talk with my church members......
y i wont talk with my cousins or uncle or aunt because none of them live here in our city.....
i don't have my own mobile so i cant contact with anyone....i just have this pc.....
so its better for me to talk with my church members.....
i'm not sharing these with my dad too cause my mom can change control mind.......
so i'll suffer if i tell to my dad.....
so i'll go to my church.....i know they'll help me....
thank you for your care and support for this little brother.......HUGS

sure. Let me know how things go. hug.

ok...

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i need help