I Hate Myself

Popular Kid

By: Ineedtosaythis

Written on April 28th, 2012

I was the jock that everyone knew around campus. I played baseball, basketball, and football in high school and I also had a very popular and attractive girlfriend. I partied alot and had a great group of friends. My father started with absolutely no money and worked his way up to where now he is one of the wealthiest guys in our town. He has always spoiled me and given me everything that i wanted. My mother loves me unconditionally and always says she will be there for me. I take everything i have for granted so bad but i dont know why. I'm now a freshmen in college that my dad has completely payed for. My grandparents, who live nearby my college, had saved up $1000 to give to me for when i got to college, but that money all went to drugs and alcohol. I never go visit my grandparents when i know that i should because i know that i am their favorite grandson and i absolutely hate myself for not caring about my family. Earlier in the year i had gotten a DUI that my dad payed $5000 to hire an attorney and got it off of my record completely, but for some reason i still don't care about him and it makes me so sick. I know there are so many other people who dream of being in my position and i take it all for granted. I have hurt every single girl that i have had a relationship with because i just use them for my selfish needs and i hate it so much. I just know that i dont deserve any of the great things that life has blessed me with. I dont know whats wrong with me.

By: Ineedtosaythis

Age: 18-21 , Male

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2 responses

zero21

Hating yourself for not caring, is the same as caring. Most people don't see it like that, but it's true. Do not fret, you will come full circle with your emotions sooner than you think.

Apr 28, 2012
1 like
iwantpizza

Hi. I think it is awesome that you are able to talk about things you don't like about yourself. I don't find it odd at all that you would have the feelings you have. It is what happens when people are just given things without earning them and not held accountable when they need to be. I'm not being critical. I'm just making an observation. It's sad really. Good parents force their kids to face reality so that the kid can learn to handle challenges. I'm sure parents who spoil their kids mean well. But is is so sad because they are are crippling their children in reality. I wish I had an answer for how to feel better about yourself. Don't give up on trying to figure it out. And please don't be too hard on yourself for feeling the way you do - It's a natural outcome of how you've been treated.

Apr 28, 2012
1 like

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