I don't hate living. There is no reason to hate life, because life is a wonderful thing. It gives us laughs, smiles, and friends. But I do hate myself. For not having the strength I need to be successful. People always tell me I have potential. But potential is nothing if it is not pursued. And instead of writing my essay, I'm writing this. I am failing school, even though there is no reason I should be. I lack the motivation I need to grow up as I would like. Go to a good college, get a steady job, marry a woman who loves me unconditionally. Have a family with two kids: Sophie, a girl, and Alex, a boy. We would have a dog, a newfoundland. The name would come later. All of that is possible. There is a possibility of that happening. I have to potential to pursue that future, but I choose not too, because I refuse to work. And potential is nothing without the drive to pursue it.
Thereisnohope Thereisnohope
18-21, M
1 Response May 8, 2012

I identify with you story to a ridiculous extent!!! I am afew years older then you and without going into details I feel like I know where I would like to be in ten years time and although I am on my dream university course I still feel like I am miles away from reaching my life goals. I often feel down and feel like I have nobody to blame but myself, its utterly hypocritical, but please go to see a doctor because group or personal counselling is so helpful in these situations where you feel lost with nobody to blame but yourself. I know how the smallest situations can spiral into a pit of self hatred even if the initial feelings were nothing to do with yourself. You owe yourself so much more, you are a young, wonderful person with so much to offer the world and one say so much to offer one person,but right now you owe yourself some love, I sincerely hope you feel better soon xxx