I Don't Know Why

I hate myself. My "friends" never call or call back, I always feel so alone and it messes with my head. I get angry at myself. On days I feel okay I go out but then usally feel like a loser because I'm going out by myself. As a result I drink more than i should not so much that i feel as i though I have a problem because i can/have gone weeks without drinking. I let people just walk all over me and I pretend to brush it off as I'm ignoring them so I don't give them the reaction they are looking for. At night the thought or shooting myself usally goes through my head once or twice before its dismissed not so much because I don't want to but because I don't want it to be an inconvenience to people. I'm afraid I will be alone until I die. espically since most people I know have a long term signficant other, are married, or have kids. 
Letsgoboston Letsgoboston
26-30
1 Response May 10, 2012

Dont be upset You are surrounded by many having the same sitiuation.