Just End This Pain

Every day, i think of her, and how amazing she was, and how horrible i was to her, Everyday i regret every decision I've made in life. I feel i hate everyone, especially my father. I'm 15 and already had sex and done drugs, isn't that sad? I constantly blame myself for everyone else's problems. Everyday i think of how i wish i could be back with her, and how i wish i had't ever met my ex. I feel no one cares if i'm alive or dead, i feel no one understands me, am i truly this alone? Suicide goes through my thoughts daily, these pills don't work, nothing does. I hate my body, i hate my voice, i hate my thoughts, i hate my actions, i hate my everything. I just wan't to fall into an eternal darkness. "God" has failed me and I've failed myself. My main depression comes from thinking of what I've done and of why can't i stop making my life and everyone's hell.
inneedoftimemachine inneedoftimemachine
13-15, M
May 20, 2012