We All Know What It Feels LikeIf you are a part of this group, then I guess you know. Maybe you hate your body or maybe you hate your personality. Or maybe you hate both, like me. But it sucks, especially since you know you have a much better life than a LOT of people out there. But here is what I feel and I need to tell someone.
Ever since I was about 11, I have been jealous of girls who had that perfect face, body, hair, skin etc. I wish I could look like them, in some way shape or form. My self esteem was so low and I have depression. I tried to tell myself I was pretty, but I can't even look in mirrors without wanting to cry. There was a time I took down the mirror in my bathroom because I couldn't look anymore. When I was 12 there would be nights I would cry myself to sleep because I wished I was different. I changed schools and nobody accepted me. My personality is unique, I like to make lots of jokes and have deep conversations with people. But I hate myself because I have depression and low self esteem even though I know so many people have it much worse off. When I was 13 I was hurt emotionally by a guy older than me. (I was betrayed group: A Letter To You).
Now I am in high school, with scars all over my body of where I have hurt myself. I have a boyfriend who loves me and supports me, but no matter how hard I try I can never seem to get better. I can't go to therapy because my parents don't believe in it and would freak if they knew how I really feel.
I just wish I could be happy again.
Whalegirl 13-15, F 1 Response 0 Jun 14, 2012