I don't say things just for attention like other people think that I do. I really do feel like I should commit suicide or that I want to be happy. But when I tell people this all they do is call me an attention *****. But I'm really not, I just hate myself. I don't know why I do. But whenever I need someone I'm left alone. I want a friend that will always be there for me. I help people with their problems hoping that they will be there for me too, but I'm always wrong. I feel used and I hate it. People have started a lot of rumors about me this year and non of them are true but almost everyone believes them. I've been called many things that has made me lose many friends. And when I come to a happy place in life something happens that makes me hate myself all over again. How can I just accept who I am when the person I am is my worst enemy?