One Of The Worst People

Well as I'm sure you've all guessed, I hate myself. Let me give you a quick run down on why

-5 years ago I molested my best friend's sister.
-Within the past year there have been numerous girls that I've pursued for the sole reason of sex.
-I'm too weak to hold in my tears. I don't deserve to cry. I'm not the victim.
-I'm ugly.
-I'm not skilled at anything.
-My girlfriend is the best thing that ever happened to me, but I know she can do better than a piece of **** like me and I'm too selfish and weak to let her go.
-I think really bad things at times. I try to be a good person but it just doesn't work.

My girlfriend looked through my past messages with the sex girls and she couldn't stop crying. She was a virgin and I took that from her. I feel like she regrets it now. I hate sex. I hated it ever since 5 years ago. I hated when I craved it. I felt disgusted with myself every time did anything related to that. It was at the point where I wanted to cut off my penis with a pair of scissors, but I was too afraid to do it. I've seen a therapist but it didn't seem to help. It helped for a little while, but the hate for myself quickly resurfaced. I should have never taken that from her. I honestly thought that we would last forever and that it was ok to take it, but who would want to spend forever with me? I've never felt so bad about myself before in my life. That's why I'm here. I don't know what to do. Please help me.
Knikkey Knikkey
1 Response Sep 11, 2012

Ok...Sort of a 2-part solution:<br />
One, you have to apologize for all the stuff you've done. <br />
It's productive to admit guilt :"I have done something wrong," It's unproductive to feel ashamed: "I AM something wrong."<br />
You will likely need to make amends to those you have harmed. Man up and make them. Molesting that girl being the biggest thing you need to face up to.<br />
<br />
Two, you have to figure out why you're compulsively sexual.<br />
Addictions and compulsions are generally ways in which we run away from something. So you have to figure out what you are running from...and then turn around and face it.<br />
<br />
You either do this work now, or you'll have more sh!t to make amends for.<br />
I suggest you do it now.