Not So Much A Story

If the hindus are right I was surely hitler in my last life. I go to bed with my only hope and dream fixed in my mind that I won't wake up. I have tried suicide only to fail at even that so many times I cannot find mathematical expression for the number. My family all hate me. My few relationships have all the attributes of an abortion and women flee in horror at sight of me. Why can't I die?
quadroplanic quadroplanic
31-35
2 Responses Nov 26, 2012

you seem to be a compassionate person inside - the fact that you have enough of a capacity for self-reflection to realize that you are not happy with your relationships and other aspects of your life is a good thing. self reflection is positive. this means you have the starting point for piecing things back together.

try writing on a piece of paper 'i must figure out how to piece my life back together'

and read it out loud twice a day

you will find your mind slowly changing.

write back and let me know what you think

Because you were meant to be here. You have a purpose that you have not fulfilled? That's what I am supposed to say right? The real reason you are here, is something only you can answer. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I am sure the women are not right for you if you feel they are running. Perhaps it is because you have not yet found love for yourself. That is something you must have in order to have love for another or be loved. We don't accept they love us, because we can't love ourselves.