Me Talking With Me ......

I was thinking about me how happy i am now then suddenly i hear a voice inside it comes to me

Voice :- u sounds u r happy aren't u

Me :- of course i m happy m happy bcoz of my family n friends n they love me n i love them too

Voice :- wat r u talking? who loves you ?

Me :- my family n friends

Voice :- shut up ***** no one loves you, you know it too

Me :- how could u say that u don't know, they loves me

Voice :- ok, lets start with your family

Me :- ok

Voice :- if your parents love you then why you are afraid to love some one, why you don't want to turn 18, 19, 20 or 21 why? why they don't like to talk to you when you felt upset?

Me :- bcoz i don't want to hurt my parents and i like to stay young and maybe bcoz when i am hurt or upset i am not controllable i just yell on everyone

Voice :- stop lying to me i m in you i know everything, you are afraid bcoz if u love someone they will kill u not accept you n u don't want to turn 18 bcoz u r afraid they will force u to marry to that guy they choose for you, so technically your parents love you but in future they gonna hate you

Me :- i just don't know what are you talking about stop that please

Voice :- ok u think your brother loves you ?

Me :- yes

Voice :- tell me a moment when he shows his love for you

Me :- ummmmm there are a lot i don't remember them

Voice :- Ahhhh when will you stop lying to me there isn't any moment, did he ever show any care about you? nope never, u always ashamed in front of your parents whenever they talk about grades he is good in studies n u r just average, he don't love you bt still when he ask u to make something for him u make however u don't know how to cook?

Me :- stop it ok everyone praise him bcoz he deserve that he study a lot n i don't so i don't deserve, i deserve to feel ashamed n i know it ok this is not a reason n maybe he don't love him bt it doesn't matter to me ok

Voice :- so it proves ur family doesn't love you ,so wat's next ya ur friends u r very proud of them aren't you?

Me :- yes i am n dis time i will prove u wrong

Voice :- hahahaha m gonna die how could u say them friends

Me :- sorry what?

Voice :- do they ever text you first?

Me :- No but it's ok they replied n i feel if they are not taking first step why don't i start and text them first

Voice :- ughhhhhhhhh i wonder how big liar u r, they don't text u first coz they don't wanna talk to u n if u feel about taking first step then y they don't feel it y? and they reply bcoz they want to get rid from you, didn't you get it yet they don't even like you, care for you

Me :- bt they say they do........

Voice :- just to feel u good that's all Nisha y don't u understand no one loves you

Me :- i know u r right i know they don't love me but i don't know what to do? u know how much i hate myself i know no one likes me no one wants me

Voice :- see now you believe me, try to not to expect from others try not to let the close to you n better if you die

Me :- you know how many times i tried to kill myself i cut myself but doctors they saved me, i guess ok let's try something else i put my face in the tub full of water bt i failed to do it the again i try to jump from my school terrace again i failed then i planned to came in front of any vehicle bt this time all of them stop their vehicles i think god don't want me to come to him he hates me too 

Voice :- u know there is someone who loves you ?

Me :- who?

Voice :- me i mean you, you love you

Me :- no shut up i hate myself i don't want to talk to u anymore just leave me alone please

Voice :- ok but i m just right here

Me :- just leave me please

that's all  happened no one loves me so do i, i hate myself 
Slowlifee Slowlifee
18-21, F
1 Response Nov 29, 2012

no i am going to rate up this story...... whether ur short tempered ... or gusa tmhe ziada ata hai... that doesn't matter atleast for me.........i know this behavior... am familiar... mein esi thi pehle... but now i changed my self... and u should have to be changed ur self

i meant not to rate up this story........