Power Of Her Words....

They can be so small and yet so large. They can make a person and they can break a person. I took a vacation from this website for many reason and yet I found my way back here. I tried in many ways to change my feelings and never let the words spoken to me affect me the way they have and do. So many read my stories and want to quick fix this broken person…. Want to tell me right away to just block the hurt. Its not that simple. The madness the hurt the pain is enormous. The tears I have shed have become so painful that a memory of a happy moment I no longer recall. Some of my students tell me I look so sweet and beautiful when I smile. I try but inside I am so broken. I am so hurt that I can’t even fake smile anymore.
Words in my life have crumbled my world. I am a woman with a huge vocabulary and I know very well the power of words. My daughter, her father, my so call family they all take turns at me with their words. Some claim apologies, some claim innocently yet however the abuse is consistent and daily. You can stumble upon a rock the first day…**** even the first few days but after a week then something is wrong. But I can push her father out my life as I have for past 17 yrs, I can push away family members that have hurt me but I cannot push my daughter away. She is my life. She means the world to me. I just wish her words wouldn’t be so painful.
She is turning 18 on Dec. 10 and I pray something changes because if she doesn't I don't think I can live this way much longer. Emotionally I have learned to hate myself. Everything I once held dear to myself and about myself I have let go... I am empty.....
diamondtears077 diamondtears077
31-35, F
Dec 3, 2012