Rantings Of A Loser

I feel like I'm good-for-nothing , an utter loser. Again. And no , I'm not having one of my mood swings.

Firstly , my grades have dropped significantly and I'm afraid that I might not get admission into a decent college if the same happens for the Annuals as well.

Secondly...oh, here's everything that has been bothering me since...forever ?
I can't converse normally. I tend to stutter and stammer a lot (I believe this is due to my anxiety , but I could be wrong) and this has terribly affected my social life ; I just have one friend and she has admitted that she finds me rather boring. Uhm , atleast she didn't lie.

My self-esteem is just... non-existent , all thanks to my uber ugly face. I'm just 18 ,but my face is already lined with wrinkles , dark spots , acne and what not ! As if that isn't enough , I'm suffering from hairfall , too.
Just perfect.

No wonder I attract 'is-that-thing-for-real' stares from people. *sigh* Maybe , just maybe , I'll finally learn to live with it. But until then , I'll rant on and on and on.
ScarFace23 ScarFace23
18-21, F
2 Responses Dec 4, 2012

sure u speak like an old man....a loser..... i dont find any arrogance(agression) and concern/will towards how you try to mitigate your problems......stop complaining and just work harder....use ur head...life is not a shopping mall where you get things readymade....need to tailormake certain things.....

People can be so superficial. I'm sorry you have had to deal with this. I did not find anything you said just now boring and I think if you go on to college you might find what I did- people are much less judgmental in college than in high school. If you can afford medication you may want to talk to someone about that because the stuttering and anxiety might be easily fixed :) And if people judge you for silly things you can't help, screw them, you'll find better people if you keep looking and reaching out. Talking to a school counselor might help as well. Best wishes.