A Little From My Story

Once again i stand in front of the mirror like everyday, picking my flaws and looking for the opposite. It hurts so see what i see everyday. the reflection of mirror revealing and showing my body and my face making me wonder how it feels to be beautiful. going through pictures of girls that are flawless. Comparing myself to other people. Hating yourself isnt easy, it isnt something like a ignorant teenage would say when he feels bored or so. Hating yourself is a torture, it lowers the self esteem, it makes death seem beautiful to you, it makes you want and wish for death. Thats me ladies and gentlemen, living in the world of my imagination, wanting to exist in there forever and leave this world, i am ashamed to be a human. i am never understood, even by the closest people of mine. Life like that feels empty and a waste. to live my life the same everyday wanting do to more but things are pulling me down, waiting for death to come and take me, for me to be a memory, to not exist anymore. to feel free off this earth. to run away from pain and the world where everyone wants you to be perfect, popular, pretty and the list goes on and on. They say it gets better, but why is it taking such a long time, i have been waiting for it since i was ten, since i was ten waiting to die or for things to get better, but nothing is happening but the same routine everyday, wake up, go to school, deal with people that are different than me, people that are all the same, people who lack the originality and judge you within your name. going home with piles of pain and work, and the best part where i am half dead but half alive, sleeping.

Maccheeseburger Maccheeseburger
18-21, F
Dec 5, 2012