I Am Tired

Locking myself in a small room, locking my fears and desires. As another day pass, i live it off with a growling empty stomach. what i do to myself and these extra 20 pounds. gum has been my friend while food has been my enemy. i need to lose those weight or ill never be happy.

its been hard for me i have been trying to lose weight, i have cut down many things, the night has been something i hate as i am not allowed to eat many things. i am tired, my stomach is tired. i feel hopeless. i feel fat, disgusted, ugly, unworthy, i feel like i should not exist. there is no point of me. i am like this big object that live on earth, that has no mission, does nothing but try to keep living physically while mentally, i am lost.
i dont know who i am anymore, i feel like i have lost myself mentally, i cant experience that "happy" feeling that everyone around has, its like my emotions are dead. it feels like i am just dead pointless, soulless. i hate myself so much for existing, i hate that my parents didnt give up on my before i came to this world, why did i come to this earth, to this world if its nothing but torture and pain. i am tired i am really tired of living. the thoughts of living this world became something i think about a lot. i just want to leave this world and leave to a better place, i want to be happy again, i want to be healthy and feel myself.
Maccheeseburger Maccheeseburger
18-21, F
Dec 11, 2012