Why I Even Try

As this group says... I hate myself. I have hated myself for as long as I can remember. I was always that awkward kid that everyone would pick on. I really don't care what they had to say. But the point that they said negative things in the beginning made me question my existence.
I'm not here for people to take pity on me or any of that crap, I just wanted to say that, yes, I truly loath my very being.
I am a cutter. I have been for about 2 and a half years now. I've had thoughts of suicide since before then. Im only around still because I don't want to give in to the weakness. I don't want to take the easy way out yet.
The way I see it is that things could always be worse. I may hate myself, but that doesn't mean I show it. People believe I'm happy and love life. They don't know me that well I guess.
Anyways, I hope you have better lives than I have had. I wish you all good luck in life.

missme153 missme153
18-21, F
1 Response Dec 11, 2012

Been there and done that...bullying does a number on your head.
(((HUGS))) You're nothing like what they say to hurt you.

Yes yes it does. And thanks, I know not to believe everything people say, it still hurts tho lol.. And (((HUGS))) back :) thanks for that.