My Mind Won't Let Me Be.

I get paranoid about everything. I see certain things on videos, on the street, even in my freaking demeanor and I freak out because I am CONVINCED that it will impact me for the rest of my life. I am terrified of my own mind, because it won't stop harrassing me, and I feel that the only way to stop this confusion is to tie a brick around my neck and jump into a well.
I can't stop dwelling on thoughts that I find disturbing. I dwell and I think and it gets so blown out of proportion that I feel so afraid it makes me physically ill. Once, I was so fascinated by a gory thought that I became woozy and passed out in the middle of a class. What scared me was my inability to stop thinking about the image.
I am at the end of my tether-- Whenever I see people I get so confused as to who I am.
I beg for God to kill me in my sleep, because I am so tired of fighting for control over myself.
RustlesMyJimmies RustlesMyJimmies
18-21
Jan 6, 2013