Self Injury

I recently just burn myself with a metel
Spoon...second ddegree burn from my wrist to the end of my arm.. I feel like my self injury habits are getting out of control. I don't do it often but when I do do it is really bad...I feel like I'm ******* up people lives.. I have a very risky life style when it come to sex.. I cant keep a boyfriend.. I lie a lot for gratification.. I dont know who I'm .. I dont talk to the ppl I use to be c very close to.. I can't except who iI'm n what I have..I'm scard that my behavior will catch up to me n soon go to jail... . My impulsiveness is tacking over my life.. I'm afraid for my life for what I might do or someone elst might do because of my risky impulsiveness..I have a problem. . I cant find the right help... I need to go to a long term mental hospital or resort. . To get my life together...I disappointe myself. . I need help. Talking to a therapis really dont do anything for me...Im hurting inside and can no long take it.. I wanna live..But that just because I'm too afraid to take my own life n my belief.. Its hard being honest...
Borderlinepd Borderlinepd
18-21, F
1 Response Jan 7, 2013

I'm not a doctor nor therapist. But i think i understand what your doing. You are hurting so
bad inside and do not see your since of self worth. You fill no one understands you or your pain. The Pain manifest it's self and you take that pain on yourself. You shut yourself off from others for fear they will judge you or not understand you. And the hurt you feel is so real, you become angry hurt and not meaning to,your lashing out-crying out for help.
but you feel there's no real solution to your problem. I can only say this as i went through
similar exsperiences but with razors. The only way i got over doing that: was tell myself
the past is the past-and i cannot let it hurt me unless i choose to. That was yesterday-I'ts the Past leave it there. Move foreward-tomorrow is a diffrent day. Find your self worth in yourself-be happy who you are, do not look to other people to make you happy. Dont let
other people determine who you are. Another words Learn to Love yourself and others will learn to love you as well. You can get over this. :)