It Hurts!

As I try to cope with my feelings of shame from the recent event I experienced... I find myself falling deeper into my emotions.
Life just isn't fair! Why did I have to be born like this? Why did I have to be born at all? I don't want my life if I'm just going to continue with these painful feelings; I don't want to have a life if I'm just going to lose everything in the end! Everything that I love, everything I know won't exist to me once I'm gone...
I want to die so badly... I want to end these feelings that I have to live with; I want to end the life of the self that I hate so much; and I want to end this fear of death... To get it all done and over with...
But I can't! I can't because I'm scared... And I don't want to miss everything that I could have experienced... And most of all... I don't want the people I love to be hurt because of something I did...
But living like this is so painful and terrifying... I hate it! I hate this and I hate myself! I wish I was never born!
Guttersnipe Guttersnipe
22-25
Jan 10, 2013