I Hate Waking Up :/

Every morning I wake wondering why i'm still alive wonder whats the point in me waking up,i look at my arms and almost cry over what i've done to myself all over my ex using me insted of going to my brother or to someone I choose to get rid of the pain. I wish just one ******* morning I could take and wipe away these scares get rid of all my bad thoughts, most of all I wish I could just wake up and know everythings ok,nothing will go wrong,no one will make fun of you or put another bruise on you. I know i'm worthless,freak,weak,useless,black hearted,unstable. But every morning I wake to one thing that helps and thats knowing she loves me. Why does she stay when she knows i'm broke,but yet she stays,tells me she loves me. I guess shes the one who I need even thought I hate waking up put its worth it just to make her smile. I hate myself for many reasons... I hate myself for cutting myself,trying to kill myself,most of all I hate myself for not going to anyone and choosing to face it on my own when I needed someone but for now on if I need help I know she will help me or even my best friend whos like family to me.
xxdarkdemon96xx xxdarkdemon96xx
18-21, M
1 Response Jan 14, 2013

....I cant believe that you would think that you are all those things Shane. You are no where near worthless,freak,weak,useless,black hearted,unstable. reading this makes me cry.If something where to ever happen to you i would never forgive myself for not being able to help you.I love you.I never want to see anything bad happen to you.You are my life and i know i tell you this ALL the time but im not sure of when your going to do something like you did the other night.You know you could had came to me.You know you could had messaged me on facebook,text,or called me. I never want to hear of you punching a wall because the person who played a big roll in both of our lives decided to cut too.It breaks my heart knowing he did that but it breaks my heart more to know that you would rather bust up your hand then come to me about it.Please I beg you.NEVER do something like that again.