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A Tremendous Failure

I'm not sure how I'm going to get through this without spiraling into the phrases that are so common here. I'm already aware of problems with my mood, as I was diagnosed with depression back in college. I'm on medication and seeing a therapist, but things are still very rocky for me. After an arduous job search, I was finally accepted into a national volunteer program. Full time with a stipend and everything, and doing something I deeply cared about. I thought it was a dream come true. I guess it's not so much the case now. I've been sick over my term, and behind in my hours. I've no idea how I'm going to complete all of my requirements for the program either, which my supervisors haven't been very helpful with. I am always doing something wrong. I can feel my supervisor's disapproval and regret for ever hiring me. Lately I've come to the realization that I hate myself. I just wish that I could just check out - of this term, my life, everything. All I am is a tremendous failure and disappontment to everyone.
Mary0904 Mary0904 22-25 Jan 22, 2013

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