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Nobody Is Perfect

At school everyone says that I'm the nicest and happiest person they've ever known.
Hi I'm a Brianna and I guess this is my story. I'm crazy, literally, I'll go to school and literally do a funny dance or a silly face to just make someone smile. I'm different, everyone cares about being pretty and popular, but I don't really care, I'm happy I'm not fake. This may sound up my self, but I don't think anyone hates me, like I don't have any enemy's. Some people may dislike me, and I'm fine with that considering everyone has different opinions, but besides from that I don't get into bitchy fights and all. This may be the reason why people say they like me, anyways, everyone says to me "Your so lucky because your just always happy!" and I am lucky, because I have a house, a roof, a bed to sleep in, food, an education, 2 amazing parents who are even though not together, they love me no matter what, a loving family and great friends. Life can't get any better than that. So, yes I am lucky, and I think everyone thinks I have the best life, but even though a person may have the best life in the world, it doesn't mean they are the happiest person in the world, and I kind of found that out about myself 2 hours ago.

I think because I use so much energy during the day to make people happy, every once in a while I'll just shut down. This means, crying my heart out into my pillow and saying to myself I Hate Myself. It seems stupid, yeah? But I seem to do it a lot. And when I do it, I feel much better. This is because all my feelings are just cried out. It's like when you really need to vomit, and you feel it in your throat, although vomiting isn't a very positive thing, once it's out, it's out. And it feels much better. 2 hours ago I sat in my chair and stared at the mirror. I pointed out all my flaws, and everything bad I had done in my life. I told myself that I was worthless, that nobody would like me. I let out everything, but this time I didn't let it out in tears, I let it out in words. I let out everything I've been dieing to say. Everything I felt. Everything I was feeling when people said "how are you". And after all of that, I felt, well words can't describe. Lets just say I felt better. My mum just randomly came home and hugged me, told me she loved me, that helped too. Even little things can help. Such as a Facebook message from a friend saying she is so happy to have me as a friend.

Girls and boys, if your reading this, you could be in tears, like I was, or you could be on this site for any type of help, you are your own person. Nobody is like you, you have a different personality to everyone else, a different look, a different voice. You are different. This may sound weird but I think that is amazing. There's billions of people in the world? And your different to every one of them. So if you hate yourself, just remember your different, and I think that's something everyone one of us should be proud of.



Thank you for reading,

Brianna
briannnaisme briannnaisme 13-15, F Jan 24, 2013

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