I Hate Myself
It started when I turned 6. My parents were divorced and I had to go visit my dad for the Christmas holidays. I was super excited...
My older sister and I got to his house and I accidentally spilled juice on my clothes. He started shouting at me and beat the crap out of me. I cried and he left. Later he came back and my sister started fighting with me and my dad beat the crap out of me again. I cried again. He said that crying wasn't allowed and I would get my punishment later. He turned towards my sister and she went and stood behind me... She used me as a shield and he said that I was the bad worthless child and that she could go to her room. I got beaten again.
That night after I had gotten into bed my father came into my room and said bad girls don't cry. He raped me over and over again as punishment. I remember it like it was yesterday.
The rest of the holiday was the same. He took his frustration out on me and I had to go to a doctor which was also his friend. I was 6!!!! I started crying in the doctors room and they both took turns raping me. I ******* hate doctors!
I had to have surgery a week later for a diaphragmatic hernia due to violence and abuse.
I told my mom what happened and she said it was my own fault.
This carried on for years. I did everything in my power to do good but nothing was good enough. If I got 98 percent on an exam it would be why not a hundred and it would happen again. And again. I have been strangled by him I have been thrown down flights of stairs I have gone through it all, he tried drowning me, he threw me out of the car whilst we were driving, the list goes on and on and on.
I haven't cried since the age of 6. I just can't.
I then managed to get out of the house and didnt have to see him for about two years but then I got diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 20. I had the tumor removed went through the chemo and radiation and a year and a half later went into remission. I went through it alone.
No one cared.
I am worthless. And a failure in life. I then met my husband and started studying law. I was 24 we got married when I was 27 and the abuse started all over again this time with him beating me up.
I left three weeks ago. I got beaten up gain last night and had 7 fractured ribs.
Tonight I had to go there again to drop off stuff for the kids and now 4 of those ribs are broken....
I wish my so called father just finished the job when I was 6.
My older sister and I got to his house and I accidentally spilled juice on my clothes. He started shouting at me and beat the crap out of me. I cried and he left. Later he came back and my sister started fighting with me and my dad beat the crap out of me again. I cried again. He said that crying wasn't allowed and I would get my punishment later. He turned towards my sister and she went and stood behind me... She used me as a shield and he said that I was the bad worthless child and that she could go to her room. I got beaten again.
That night after I had gotten into bed my father came into my room and said bad girls don't cry. He raped me over and over again as punishment. I remember it like it was yesterday.
The rest of the holiday was the same. He took his frustration out on me and I had to go to a doctor which was also his friend. I was 6!!!! I started crying in the doctors room and they both took turns raping me. I ******* hate doctors!
I had to have surgery a week later for a diaphragmatic hernia due to violence and abuse.
I told my mom what happened and she said it was my own fault.
This carried on for years. I did everything in my power to do good but nothing was good enough. If I got 98 percent on an exam it would be why not a hundred and it would happen again. And again. I have been strangled by him I have been thrown down flights of stairs I have gone through it all, he tried drowning me, he threw me out of the car whilst we were driving, the list goes on and on and on.
I haven't cried since the age of 6. I just can't.
I then managed to get out of the house and didnt have to see him for about two years but then I got diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 20. I had the tumor removed went through the chemo and radiation and a year and a half later went into remission. I went through it alone.
No one cared.
I am worthless. And a failure in life. I then met my husband and started studying law. I was 24 we got married when I was 27 and the abuse started all over again this time with him beating me up.
I left three weeks ago. I got beaten up gain last night and had 7 fractured ribs.
Tonight I had to go there again to drop off stuff for the kids and now 4 of those ribs are broken....
I wish my so called father just finished the job when I was 6.
By:
deleted
Age:
26-30
