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My Eating Disorder

Last year was hard. The pain was harder.
I looked in the mirror couldn't bear it any longer.
I wasn't fat, but I wasn't skinny.
The curves that restricted me from being tiny.
I wanted it. Oh, so bad. Small and fragile, touching my lovely bones.
My hips bulge from the pants. See the ribs through my shirt.
Till Friends worried and called me absurd.
They texted and called and forced food down my throat.
Made me tell my parents.
Feeling like a physiatrics ward.
I see a therapist now to talk of my problems.
But I don't share the stories, just the parts I want to.
I don't complain or talk of my feelings.
Faking recovery but tomorrow I'm stronger.
Make this year the year of skinny.
Please don't judge me, i am trying hard.
Please can't you love me..it's all i want.
Why can't i love this stupid body.
But i'f i'm stuck in it...better make it pretty.
lovelybonez lovelybonez 16-17 Jan 30, 2013

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