This Is Exhausting

I'm just tired. Tired of drowning in my own tears when I finally reach my boiling point. Iam tired of people assuming they know me. I pretend I hate everything and everyone. I hate how people say,"oh she is just likethat." That isn't true. I don't wake up everyday thinking terrible things about everyone. There used to be a time when I was happy and nice. Once this whole persona stuck to me, I just sort of went along with it. The truth is I don't hate everyone. I hate myself. You all just assumed, so I use that as a cover up for my unhappy state of being.I've never been completly happy but, there was a time when i didn't hate myself. You all think I'm just bitter for fun. I'm bitter because that is what you all saw me as so I let myself slip into that character permenatly. I have really grown to hate that part of myself and I'm terrified. It hasn't gotten better. I honestly think I would be better off if I just stopped breathing for a while. I wish it was possible to take a break from life. Press pause. I'm tired of being tired. It is really taking a toll on my life.