Just Venting

I swear I'm worthless, I claim to be so ******* strong then why can't I help the ones I care so much about. What is even the point of being alive if I can't even be of some use? Everyone keeps telling me that I need to stop worrying about everyone else for once and have someone worry about me but if I let my guard down for a moment it'll end just like all the other times. They'll break down my barrier and tear me apart from the inside out.
sagesbones sagesbones
22-25, M
9 Responses Apr 1, 2013

I know how you feel. As someone who had to start helping raise my kid brother and sister at the age of fifteen due to my mom and dad's divorce, this feeling is something that never goes away for me. I've been working ever since I was old enough to. Once I had 3 jobs at a time to help support my family. When it comes to my siblings I feel like more of a parent than a sister. I worry about my mom's mental health because of her divorce. I'm afraid of what would happen if I left. My mom is great and loves us but she isn't the person she used to be. She's extremely negative and has no motivation... I'm engaged now and have been for a year. I still live with them. Right now I'm worried about Christmas and how to get my little siblings every(or most of) what they asked for because they deserve it so much. They've been through so much. & seeing them so happy that day is when all of my work pays off. My siblings are both also depressed and my mental health has always been questionable.

I know so much how you feel. I hate that you feel this way but what you wrote explains my struggle on a daily basis and although it sucks to know other people deal with this pain and guilt I feel, it's nice to know I'm not alone.

People tell me the same thing... "Worry about yourself and about your future." Or "you can't keep doing this forever for them."

I feel like you just have to follow your heart. Do what you feel makes you feel the best. Give and help with what you can, it's all you have, so that makes it your best effort.

Remember that guilt is a worthless emotion. (Easier said than done.) & remember that you deserve good things too.

I bet you're an amazing person. It's not easy to deal with these kinds of feelings about yourself or feeling torn this way.

I hope you find inner peace and feel better soon. & I hope I do as well.

You can't give what you do not have. If you are strong inside, you will have something to give on the outside. The stronger you are on the inside, the more secure you will feel. You will be able to help others and won't be affected by what might come of that. Keep in mind, you can't help others if they do not want your help. They have the freedom to choose that.

Here is a link to a Free Personal Development Audio Book - I hope you can gain something from it :-)

People love you. There's no reason to feel useless. You will do great things, you have a family who loves for you and cares for you. you are not worthless. And honestly everyone loves you believe it or not! There is love for everyone from everyone. I Love You.

I promise u with every piece of me, tht I will never do tht, but I did, u tell me and I'll fix it! I'll try to help u! If u want!

I thought only I felt that way. I know God doesn't make junk, but what the hell was he thinking when he made me. I'm a female sex addict in meeting after meeting of me and the men. The other women come a few times and disappear. I stay because if don't I'll die. Right now I feel like that wouldn't be such a bad thing. Just one more ***** the world could live without.

if you were worthless, no one would sit here to take their percious time to help you. you are loved let me tell you that! by so many people out there. you dont even know. people admire you from afar, but you just cant see it. Not knowing your reason to live is tough. But not knowing you have one doesnt mean you dont have one. I am sorry I can be more specific... I cant tell you exactly what your purpose in life is... at the end of your life... when it comes at the right time.... you will know what the purpose was....this is just a rough *** patch in life but i assure you. it will get better(: if you ever need someone to vent to feel free to message me(:

I don't think you realise how much my life has changed for the better since I met you babe; saying your life has no use is far from the truth. Believe me, if I hadn't met you, I would never have had anyone there to have faith in me to stop binge drinking every chance I got; no one had faith in me but you and very, very few others. I wish you could see you are changing my life for the better even though there won't be magical results right away. You can't solve everything with the ones you care about so much because somethings people have to figure out for themselves, and somethings people need to accept before they can get over it. Unfortunatley, people we care for just have to suffer sometime to learn how to deal with things. This isn't nessisarily a bad thing, it's more or less a blessing in disguise. It helps those people to give valuable advice in the future and understand others more because we've been able to say we've been there. Don't put so much pressure on yourself, please. I worry about you and care a hell of a lot more than you seem to realise, and NOTHING can change that. I promise; and no that isn't an empty promise. I wouldn't dare dream of tearing you apart because you've already made it so far in life... if anything I want to help build you up. I want to make you see what I see and what I'm positive others see; the wonderful, handsome, caring, loveable Sage. You see, you don't realise how happy I get because I get to call you mine. (: <3

Words cannot express how much I appreciate this comment, thank you so much :') &lt;3

Who in your life has ripped you apart? Who's taught you that's what to be expected?

...off-topic...do you have an eating disorder? I know that's fekkin' nosy, but you look exceedingly thin...

My mother, so many of my friends, my father, uncles, sisters, ex girlfriends.
And yes, I'm bulimic.

:( So you've been verbally abused your whole life by your family...
I will tell you that's about THEM.
They do not see the real you, they just sling abuse...probably like their parents did.
You just showed up there about 16, 17-odd years ago, into a really dysfunctional family. You're an innocent victim of the wreck in progress.
I'm sorry they did such a wretched job of parenting you.
At some point you're going to have to relate to yourself kindly, as if you were your own good parent...and you have no model to base that off of.
...Eating disorders are about control. When the rest of your life feels out of control, you starve, binge, or barf.
You're this miserable...but you worry about others first? You have a kind heart.
((((GIANT HUG)))))

...Oh, and to answer your question as to why you can't help people...sometimes their problems are just beyond your very best efforts. If you did the best you could do, then you have to step back and accept that.
It's ok to be not perfect. You try. That means you're a good person, because many people don't try.
The more you try, the better you'll get at helping others. But I think you're doing the best you can right now.