Wish to Be Free

For years I've been trying very hard to come out of depression and self-hatred. It's very difficult... and I want to give up.... In fact, I find self-hatred so much easier than bearing with the cold rejection and disguise ppl give me at times... I want very much to know why nobody wants to be my friend... I want very much to reach out for help when I'm suicidal or just plainly depressed... yet it hurts so much more when I reach out for help and receive disguise and mocking and yelling instead... nobody wants to partake in my misery which i understand... yet i just feel more ashamed and more depressed... i wish i didn't exist... i wish i could die and be free of all the pain and shame

tww49 tww49
Feb 15, 2009