An Outsider

I feel like an outsider, looking in at everyone having fun together.  For a while, I will start to feel like I fit in, but either something changes and I no longer fit in or I discover I never really fit in in the first place.  At school, at work, everywhere.  I should just accept the fact that I am a loser. 

Sometimes I almost feel manic depressive.  I'll go from happy and excited to really depressed so quickly, just from somebody saying something that makes me think or watching those around me having fun that I know I'll never experience. I hate it, and it seems to happen more and more frequently lately.  And I hate myself for being so negative and self-loathing...does that even make sense?! 

Tristy1313 Tristy1313
22-25, F
Feb 16, 2009