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I have always hated myself really I think. But more so than I used to.

I hate myself for what I am doing to my friends who are trying to help me. I hate what I am doing in my life most of the time. I hate that I feel so betrayed by myself and my family that I no longer even am able to trust and who are no longer what I call family! I hate that I cause myself pain by trying to do what I feel I need to do but am not sure I want to do.


I hate myself for causing myself and others around me pain.

I hate myself for what I couldn't control even when I feel I should have. I hate myself for the life I have made for myself.


I feel myself floating more and more and can't control it.

kthimm1 kthimm1 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 21, 2009

Your Response


You're father isn't necessarily in you at all. There's no reason to compare yourself to him if you don't want to. And why would you, I think you need to try to bond more with your adoptive parents. You don't hang out with them, and maybe that's why you don't seem to like being around them. I think If you just treated them like your friends instead of some other kind of entity you'd be happier.

I try not to. but its hard when I look in the mirror and see what my father in me and a reminder of what he did. :( <br />
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I know its my choice honestly. <br />
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I only hate my father for what he did to my sister. <br />
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I don't hate many people honestly. Well expcept my father and my 2 exboyfriends(with good reasons)! lol