I have always hated myself really I think. But more so than I used to.
I hate myself for what I am doing to my friends who are trying to help me. I hate what I am doing in my life most of the time. I hate that I feel so betrayed by myself and my family that I no longer even am able to trust and who are no longer what I call family! I hate that I cause myself pain by trying to do what I feel I need to do but am not sure I want to do.
I hate myself for causing myself and others around me pain.
I hate myself for what I couldn't control even when I feel I should have. I hate myself for the life I have made for myself.
I feel myself floating more and more and can't control it.