I always hear women saying to not spend time on someone who does not treat you like they would walk the earth for you, yet I always end up with people who are ashamed to be with me. I always end up getting hurt and lowering my expectations for the next person because i feel I don't deserve to be treated well. It's a vicious cycle and I know sooner or later I will end up with someone who wont show any respect at all for me. You know how girls usually go for men that resemble their fathers? I know I'll go down that path and end up with someone who beats me, and yet I will still love them and think it is okay because I deserve pain.. Emotional and physical. Why won't you just love me back... I guess I'm that bad of a person. I've been used so many times I feel like I do not look pretty enough, and I have had my heart broken so man times that I feel like my personality is boring and that I'm a terrible person. I shift from just wanting to be prettier so I can be happier, from just wanting to be a better person so people will treat me better..
I'm so ****** up.. Lol..
kbeary kbeary
22-25, F
2 Responses Aug 23, 2014

Emotional abuse is the worst because no one sees our scars

Trust me you'll be fine. But you're also as stupid as you are smart, contradicting right? You know what's wrong but you won't learn from it. How about you try? I don't mean try as in I'm going to try then give up, I mean try as in keep in going. I don't mean to half way in then pull out. I'm saying fight the fight over and over till you win. You deserve respect, and don't go for someone who resemble anyone else. Go for someone you need. **** and don't lie, if you're hurt you can lie or tell the truth. Never quit because no one taught you how to give up. And lastly get a man, someone who loves you for you. Not for your looks but what's really inside. Also never degrade yourself, ever. Forgive and forget the past. I know it's hard to focus on what's real and what isn't, and even at time we can't stand it, but we can't let it break us.