I Wish I Wasnt Me

i really hate myself! i hate wat i look like i hate wat i feel like. i hate my choses. i am in a relationship with this guy and eight months pregnant with our second child.  he has a long history of being a verry bad person to me but he came back and said he wanted his family and really seemed like he was trying to change for a long time, then itold him i was pregnant and it came to a halt. he has been sooo distant he stoped telling me he loves me he stoped kissing me. he stopped everything, but i keep trying to smile and go thru it actin like nothin. well today is valintines day and he has went out of his way to make me feel bad. absolutely horrable. so i asked him why and he told me he doesnt want to be with me. a month before i am due. he told me wen he came back he didnt want me to work. so i have nothing. i cant even get a job now or anything. i also have a older child. i dont know wat to do. i have done everything i know how to do and he says he doesnt  like anything bout me. i feel like the worst most horrible person. i hate me. this is horrable. i hate me.

fdownb82 fdownb82
26-30, F
4 Responses Feb 15, 2010

we have a one year old together and i have a eight year old to. i know my hormones are makeing it harder for me to deal with this but i go out of my way to not go crazy and be nice to him cuz i dont like arguments or to make him feel bad. i dont complain, i smile all the time, i tell him how much i apreciate him all the time. i dont know he did this the last time at the end of my pregnancy. he goes a wall. um he good to his son and he distant with my older, well he goes back and forth with my oldest. and thank you for the glowing thing :) wew i wish i herd that more.

hi i read your story he did the same thing last time do u think you might be just a little crossed up and hormons flying in you my ex was all over the place when she was how does he treat the kid you have and you say u got another ? hang in there and i bet you got a glow about you being pregant

thank you so much, that made me smile :) it hard cuz u feel fat and clumbsy and not normal when pregnant! he does nothingto make me feel good. he never even touches me. he did this last time wen i was pregnant with our son. he lost me before and came back and did great till i got pregnant again. u are wonderful. sometimes that all ye need is a kind word.

i would give almost anything to be in his shoes.someday he will know what he had.why do u hate the way u look?pregant women are so beautful and so lucky to have a child