I hate myself, I hate my looks mainly, i hate that I am 5'4" and 230 pounds, i hate that i eat my feelings and i hate that i allowed myself to get so big, i hate that im not doing much to change my situation, i hate that this is the only place i can vent, i dont feel comfortable saying my deep feelings to people, no even my close friends or family..... because i hate wallowing in self pity, but i  love it at the same tme. and i hate looking for attention from others, but gosh i feel like i need it soo much.. i just want someone to love me and call me beautiful until i actually believe it.  dont always feel this way, i have good days and bad.. but today just happens to be a bad day ....just because of something a freind of mine said to me and she didn't mean it to be offensive but of course it was, and i diddn't tell her that it offended me.. i just laughed t off.. but it's just got me down on myself..i with i could take a knife and slide it across my stomach  and watch all the god damned fat fall out 

NeverBeenKissed93 NeverBeenKissed93
22-25, F
Mar 6, 2010