Behold! Doucheasaurus Rex

I really, really despise one of my coworkers. He's a braggart, a liar, and has no shame. He called a female coworker of ours (one of the nicest, meekest people you'd ever meet) "Fat" to her face. There is not a single person at the station who likes him.

The only reason why Dipshitterous Maximus still has a job is because he refuses to ask for a raise. He typifies obnoxious douchebaggary. Needless to say, he and I don't exactly get along very well. Nearly every time his pasty pate opens to splurge idiocy, I call him out.

Today, he was proudly prancing around telling anyone who passed about his latest achievement: Completing his lifelong goal of "hooking up with a woman of every race."

When he mentioned this to me (to apparently try to rub it into my face), I started laughing.

"What's so funny? It's not like you could ever do this in your lifetime."

"Dude, seriously; painting your fingers different colors does not represent different ethnicities."

I continued laughing. He turned purple and stalked off.

 

zeligocity zeligocity
22-25, M
17 Responses Feb 10, 2009

On the plus side, you're more down to earth than I am.

9_9<br />
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You've only got three inches...which means you don't have much room talk, mister.

Of your shortness? Hardly. On the plus side, you never have to be on time whenever you go anywhere. "So what if I'm late? LOOK AT THESE LITTLE MIDGET LEGS!"

You're just jealous. =P

And nearly the same size as one, as well.

Yep. I'm cool as a cucumber. =P

Oh ho ho, Minimus. I see what you did there. You sly thing.

Lay off Jerkus Maximus. ;-P

You really are a master debater, celery.<br />
<br />
kleisse: good :D

I like this story. It is full of awesomeness.

Careful!! You're rubbin me the wrong way!

You're a jack of all trades.

I have just completed my "hats of every country" collection. They come in very "handy" on occasions such as this.

I have to hand it to you, you're really pulling these puns out of your...uh...hat.

Bravo! Nothing like catching a dude red handed... uh... fingered...

Thank you, Major Obvious, Minimus Brigade, D class. <br />
<br />
:D

Hahahaha...that was beautiful. ;D <br />
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And, I shouldn't have to say this, but I will anyways: he totally deserved it.