Local School Teacher/*********

Fairly recently a local (to myself) schoolteacher has just been jailed for making indecent images of kids he taught. The kids were all teenage girls, and he videoed them dancing erotically to start with and moved on to to semi naked and naked videos. Typical stuff I guess. At his trial he claimed as part of his defence that his wife knew about his crimes and accepted his ********** as harmless, and also he maintained a relationship with one of the victims to this day, as if to say he did not harm anyone by his activities. For me this is the biggest part of the problem. When confronted by their crimes, pedophiles can never admit they have done something wrong. They see the rules of society as blindly restictive, and cannot admit they are destroying lives. They twist and manipulate everyone they come into contact with. That's why they should be in prison, and kept away from youngsters....because they refuse to admit they are wrong.
mikemcneil mikemcneil
51-55, M
18 Responses May 7, 2011

That's nothing.
There is some radical group in America called.. mambla. It is the man boy love association. They promote that a boy of any!!! AGR has the right and the knowledge to choose to have sex with a full grown adult male of any age.
Now that is wrong.

Agreed....and using the word LOVE in that context is just ridiculous.

Um.. sick and perverted come to mind. In the States you have to be 18 yes of age for consent. That's our law.

There is also a group that says the same thing about girls sick..

Exactly....these kids are just being abused by perverts...love doesn't come into it.

are you serious??? how???

The mambla says a 9 year old can chose to have sex with a 59 yr old male.

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Of course he thinks its not his fault. And he shows how he cares nothing for his wife and victimes by blaming them. Look if there is something wrong in your head that makes you rape little kids why are we trying to make excuses for this? Should they be in prison so they can share storys and learn how to not get caught next time?

I don't make excuses for them. Their thought processes are wrong and it's very hard to change them so they need to be in prison. They will always have those thoughts and feeling so you can never give them a chance to put their unnatural desires into action. There is no cure.

There is no cure is right. But is it a disease? Something you can catch that is not your fault? Do we search for cures for people who catch the serial killer bug? Why is this crime something people get so confused about? -my humble opinion

It's not a disease but I do think it's learned behaviour so it can be passed on from abuser to abused at a young enough age.

There are many behaviours I have learned that I have not acted on or passed to anyone. But life is a test.

@gum bone yes you may not act on some things. But never the less mike does state an absolutely undeniable fact. Many children (boys) that are molested grow up to continue that same abusive act on other boys.

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They try to feed the public that nonsense after they get caught, if they didn't think they were doing anything wrong, they wouldn't threaten their victims not to tell by using lies such as "they will all blame you", and "everyone will be mad at you", or "you will go to jail" They do know it's wrong, they just try to blow smoke up everyone else's a$$ when they get caught..........

I am a foster carer and thought I'd share some of my insights. I haven't heard of a genetic link but there are alot of famillies where when a child has been abused, you find that the father and or mother was also abused and possibly the grandparent as well. I think it is because they normalise that sort of behaviour as a coping mechanism. Not all abuse victims will go on to abuse, but of the ones that do, there always seems to be a substance misuse or other mental illness in the family too. It is also more likely is they were abused by a woman. Not every child molester is a paedophile, paedophilia is a mental disorder where they are attracted to young kids under the age of 13, they usually see no wrong in what they are doing and believe that they are in love with their victim and visa versa. Unfortunately you also get non paedophiles abusing kids, and they are the really dangerous ones, attraction is not their main motivation, sometimes sadism, control and other things drive them if they have the opportunity, they are more likely to kill following their abuse than a paedophile would.

I wondered about that, my rapist, father of my 19 year old son, who is now very sick in the head.. Do they inherited that??

I don't know, I was told that majority of our personality comes from environment and experiences not genetics. I am sorry about your son.

It's not an inherited character gene, it stems usually from abusers being abused themselves in their formative years.

Child abuse, especially sexual abuse, is the most evil, abhorrent, damaging behavior known to man.

its all an act of control.......when i learnt this.....i took control back.......thats what saved me. Its sad to think that in society.....how when sex is involved in a crime.......usually the victim goes on trial. I really didnt think my own mother would be judge and jury......i lost...my stepfather won.....life sucked.....til i took my power back. I asked for a retrial years later.......had a witness this time....my little sister....his own daughter......according to my sister she told my mother what he did to her.......according to my mother........she didnt tell. What a mess.....didnt talk to her for years....the judge i mean.....i believe my sister told =( Of course the judge would have to admit....had she listened to me......my sister might have been spared.....which means....well you can likely figure that one out =( Wrong call.......judge!!<br />
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I also believe in the end he will get his and the judge......she will get hers too....this helps me get through.<br />
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survivors of sexual abuse need to start standing up....talking.....telling......30 some years ago it was hard to stand up and tell......i cant see how it is getting any better....i mean if it means losing your family and being sent to foster care.....i can see how a kid might keep it to themselves.......but in truth it just keeps it a hush hush situation...........society as a whole needs to change this......we need to find a way....too many innocent peoples lives are messed up because of this! =(

That really sucks how the judge handled that, but sometimes o so typical. My best friend and I were both being abused at the same time by our stepdad's (o about 30 years ago). We went in and told together. We went to my mom first, and she believed us and dealt with my stepdad accordingly, but when we went and told my friends mom, she blew up at us. Called us liars, sent me home. Then dropped it as though we had never said a word. Luckily he ended up in a mental facility and no too long after dead. He never could stop washing his hands while locked up so it's nice to know he spent his last days tormented! His own daughter danced on his grave, but to this day her mom still won't believe us about what he did!

It's even worse when it's little children who cannot stick up for themselves.

@mikemcneill, you're not cynical, you're right!<br />
@Elses, thanks for your detailed writing down of your thoughts and yes, there is a thin line and often the teenage victims love their abusers. I had a friend, she was 15 back then and her stepfather seduced her. She loved him and I couldn't convince her, that this was a wrong thing to have sex with him. He was very thoughtful and got her the pill. Her mother, of course, knew nothing about that all.<br />
@Tsunami3, never heard about genetic factors, that was new to me.

@Elses The clinical term "*********" wouldn't include the person you mentioned. ********** is attraction to prepubescent children, which usually means under age 13 or so. It's perfectly normal to be attracted to a 15 year old who looks like a 20 year old. (If this is the age of the kids you teach then believe me, attraction exists.) It's still illegal to have sex with them (in most places) but that would make him a (statutory) rapist or perhaps a child molester. The problem with a lot of these "child" terms is that they don't differentiate between a 6 year old and a 16 year old. And to me there's a big difference between the two. "**********" is the one word which does distinguish these ages, and it bothers me when people try to cloud its meaning.<br />
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The other thing I want to mention is that ********** has been shown to run in families more than other mental disorders, which could be explained by simply growing up with one around, but probably means there are genetic factors too.

Well it does seem obvious that if you had an interest in young kids you would choose a profession that allows you access to a lot of them....or am I being too cynical here?

You wouldnt believe how many teachers in Canada have been convicted of this. And everyone have been *innocent*. Sad

i dont want to start another debate on here, but i agree with you. after 20 years, my biological father sees nothing wrong with what he did. i ended up in foster care and his entire side of the family rejected me because "i sent him to prison." maybe thats where he learned it. dont know and dont care, he ruined a large part of my life without me even realizing why. i hate anyone who could even think of hurting a child and in that case intentionally hurting another human. i dont feel like i belong in this world anymore. not meaning im suicidal. meaning i just dont understand people anymore.

Yes, their behaviour sucks. I heard some of them say, that a 4 year old girl wanted to have sex with him, that she loved him as an adult woman would do and that would be the normal behaviour of children. Utterly disgusting.

Great post. If they are innocent...then they didn't do anything wrong..,that's what innocent means. You hit the nail on the head, mike. Their twisted hedonism comes before anything else. Put them away for life and make them run on habitrails.

I wasn't talking about an innocent person....I was making the point that pedophiles even when confronted with total evidence of their crimes will not admit they are doing anything wrong.

That is a common trait of pedophiles, they convince themselves that such relationships are harmless. That is why I make sure to contradict them whenever I see such an argument on sites like this. <br />
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But I don't agree with your last sentence because an innocent person will also not admit they did anything wrong.

Fully agree.

Fully agree.