My Profile Is Not Who I Am

I need to make this clear. I am a complex, educated, intellectual person with many interests and avocations. I make no attempt to express these complexities and interests on my profile.

Having said that: Sometimes when responding to questions or "confessions" where someone is asking something seriously, or is pouring their heart out, I may respond with an answer that has nothing to do with the part of myself that is expressed in my profile. I may respond from my heart, or from some other part of my "whole self." If you see an answer that interests you, and then you go to my profile, and see "all that sexual stuff," as one person put it, you may be confused, or you may be offended. If you are, I'm sorry. I will not try to defend what’s there, but do assure you, “this is not the whole me.”

(later note: since I wrote this, I have deleted "all that sexual stuff" because I became tired of people—understandably, I suppose— making assumptions about who I am based only on those aspects. The idea behind what I'm saying remains, however.)

My profile focuses on my sexuality and gender issues for a few reasons:   (1) this site is where I can be anonymous, and express parts of myself that cannot be safely expressed elsewhere. The suppression of these aspects of self has long been a destructive source of pain. This is a place where I can be open about these things.   (2) If I attempted to express my whole self here, my anonymity would be at risk.  (3) If I attempted to express my whole self here, the page would get so convoluted no one would read it.

If you come to my profile page because you want to know more about who I am, be assured that I am a whole person who is quite able and willing to carry on an intelligent and compassionate dialog. I will not try to divert a conversation about the universe or ethics to one about sex. I would be delighted to hear from you and have the conversation, whatever it might be about. But I’m not likely to show that face on my profile.
solequest solequest
61-65, M
1 Response Jan 14, 2013

Absolutely true. A lot of us are here for annonymity. I'm always seen as a goody-two shoes prude, oh if they only knew. But that's the point, I don't want anybody to know, not because I'm hiding or ashamed, but because that part of me will only be shared to someone particularly special. It's my own crazy little world apart from the mayhem of the rest. It does get kind of frustrating though when people here start to treat you as if your profile is entirely who you are, and only that. So, hats off to you for saying it out loud. <3