Potty Training 101

I have always hated portajohns. I dislike the smell of them. I hate the way they make me feel closed in and clausterphobic. I think it is absolutely disgusting looking down into the pit of toilet paper and feces swirled with bright blue liquid! My worst experience inside one was when my daughter was about 3 years old. We were attending a family reunion at a very nice picnic grove. Unfortunately, there were no public restrooms. There were two portajohns side by side sitting in the sun! My daughter was having a bit of a hard time with potty training at the time. She could not hold it very long (which later was diagnosed as an overactive bladder.) The dreaded moment came when I had to escort her to the little plastic encased bathroom. I did not want her to sit on the seat so I tried to support her by putting an arm around her waist and the other behind her knees. Kind of a makeshift invisible chair of sorts. Hovering her over the seat, straining not to drop her, cramped into the tiny space, I said "Go!" She started to go and I realized I didn't hear the tinkling in the water below. I looked down to see a forceful stream of urine shooting straight out toward the door, down the front of my pants! I screamed, but she couldn't stop. So, basically, I had to stand there while she peed on me! It was not funny at the time. But now when I look back it's hysterical! So learn a lesson from this....If your legs are pressed tightly together...the pee has to go somewhere!

emptyheart emptyheart
41-45, F
25 Responses Jun 15, 2008

that's kind of a sweet story...

When I was a little girl back in the fifties, portajohns had not been invented yet. At least I never saw one. Back then they provided outhouses. The smell was undiluted horror. Flies were everywhere.
Back in 1916 when my daddy was a very small boy, he fell into the one at his school. Instead of going back into the schoolroom the poor little thing ran all the way home. His mother had to somehow was him off outside before she could let him in the house.
When my children (back in the 80s) used to be mortified at the thought of using portapotties, I used to smile and think to myself, 'kiddies, it could be even worse!'


There is no way my wife will use a porta-potty. She says they are just too disgusting and gross for her. "I'd rather pee outside" is her choice.

I once found a portable toilet very hany at a park. I was kayaking on a river with a friend. We came to an island in the middle of the river that had rocks and trees for me to climb so I did that. I then walked on some branches across a crack betwwen two rocks. The branches gave way and sent me falling onto a log located beneath. I straddled the log and squashed my left testicle. ( Probably my right one too but most of the pain was in the left one. ) This was very painful but I dealt with the pain until we were done kayaking. When we came ashore, we were at a park. I wanted to check if my testicle had swelled up and needed a private place to do so. ( It was July 4th and the park was crowded. ) Low and behold, I found a portable toilet. I went in there and checked my testicles. To my delight, there was no swelling.

I had to laugh. Sorry! =P

You'll probably make sure she will never forget this event :)<br />
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I do not remember the event myself, only due to constant repeat at family parties, pottytraining members and traveling stories... :/ It is not really a portapotty but figure it is similar.<br />
We were driving on holiday to southern france, me in the same condition as your daughter. Already had an accident so already wearing spare cloths, other where in suitcases and not easily accessible. Dad had even told me this was my last set of clothing so pay extra attention, lies always backfire ;). Parking lots had (well... france) french toilets (apparently many are now normal, this is about 15 years ago) which, certainly if you are small and can't put feet on the supports, is like peeing in a shower. It was urgent, not much time to prepare. Mom promised to support me, I had to put my feet down and started... but at least I peed straight into my own pants. When she noticed she was surprised, tried to aim me away, I thought she would drop me and immediately stood up, still peeing. Since two accidents this close would get me a severe talking to, I cried harder and kept screaming it was her fault until we reached the car. Dad got the lucky duty to dig for different cloths, mom had to drag me back (to showers but how could i know) kicking and screaming. Apparently I even promised her I would never pee again but I did sleep for most of the rest of the trip... (and 'if you don't go know you need to go on a showerpotty later' became a major potty aid, probably leaving unknowing listeners disgusted in their ignorance ;))

If anyone has not been in the military this is the only thing availible....

Gosh...You just made me laugh!

I work at a gravel pit. Our only facilities are a porta-john. When the wind blows, any of us will choose any other alternative to using that thing; bush, tree, behind a vehicle or dirt pile. In a strong enough wind, they DO BLOW OVER! You never want to be the one inside, if it's going to happen. NEVER, NEVER,NEVER USE A PORTA-JOHN ON A VERY WINDY DAY!!!<br />
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I have no fear of the porta-john itself...but, I do fear it blowing over...and then worry that if it happens, it would blow over on the door!<br />
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I could sit and write horror stories all day of things that have happened in the porta-johns!

I have only entered one portapotty in my entire life and never again. I would rather go behind a tree. Or in a bottle. Or burst. Or just not go to public events where the only facilities are portapotties. Groooogh! Gag. I feel sick.

Children are one thing. When you need relief, a porta john is a welcome sight. It makes you appreciate a clean bathroom.

oh lord... when we go to football games there is ONE area of parking lot where there is ONE "real" bathroom and then a bunch of porta-potties. when you first get there, it's not so bad but uch... as the day progresses and more and more waste accumulates. yuck yuck yuck!!! fortunately i've usually had enough to drink that i don't mind as much. thank you for your story.

This is for every body who has kids and does not like porta pottys. Myer has a fold up childrens potty seat. You attach a plastic bag to the bottem (like the plastic wal mart bags) unfold the legs of the potty seat and prestoe you have a kids potty. It works great and little girls can pee behind a tree like her big brother does.

Three of our trucks, I ama a trucker, drive to a job site just outside of Wlmington NC. As we pulled up on the bridge we were working on the driver ahead of me, who had a serious phobia about portajohns, radioed me and said "move my truck if it's in the way, I HAVE to go to the *******."<br />
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Jonathan jumped out of his truck before it came to a complete stop and ran into the portapotty.<br />
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The foreman for the job saw Jonathan run in and lock the door and took that opportunity to mess with him. The metal deck of the bridge and the plastic skids on the tolilet made it easy to push around. the foreman pushed the portapotty, Jonathan and all, all over the bridge. the whole time Jonathan whooping and hollering from inside but trapped because of his delicate intestinal condition. <br />
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The foreman put the crapper to rest up against one of the trucks. After a few minutes Jonathan tried to open the door to no avail.<br />
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"Hey Guys.... GUYS!!!! You messed up the door pushing me around. It won't open."<br />
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We made him practically beg to let out before we moved the toilet so he could open the door.<br />
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Don't mess with road construction workers when you have the runs...

Apache, I work construction too, and laughed at your story, and have a fear of being locked inside. When I use one, I make sure the door stays open. At any cost. And don't care if someone sees me!!
They do get pretty bad (Smelly) on a hot summer day!! Phfff

I worked out in a remote area in the desert for a month where all we had were porta johns. We called it "poop soup." One guy, for being particularly unruly in a meeting that day, found himself trapped when one of the people he offended decided to pin the door closed by backing his pickup truck into it. And this was 120 degree weather! Never again...we needed hazardous duty pay!

it is not an irrational fear at all, even if you did find it frightening. Porta-potties are frightening. So many things can happen in those things. I'm pretty brave about such things, and I get a tingle down my spine just thinking about it. I think most people get over it through ignorance and telling themselves nothing will happen.

I hate it when they are at a public venue...most everyone is drunk, or on their way to drunk, and they have pissed all over it...REVOLTING!

I had to do the same thing, but with a seven yr old. Luckily, she knows how to pee. The portajohn was just too disgusting to let her sit on it!

Oh my gosh! My 2 1/2 year old daughter needed to go when there was either a porta potty or a line of over 35 women for a normal bathroom. Well she was in the middle of potty training, still wearing pullups and she couldn't have held it that long so we tried the porta potty. She wasn't having anything of it. I even went to show her it was no big deal but no way.

I have so been there!

That's a cute story. Naturally nobody LOVES portajohns. <br />
Reminds me of when a friend told me that women can learn to pee standing up (useful if you need to pee in the woods) but holding their urethra and pushing hard. You'd practice in the shower.

Actually, my daughter doesn't mind using them! She thinks their a fun alternative! She even goes 4 wheeling with her Grandpa and pees in the great outdoors! I would only call it my "preference" not to use a Port-A-Potty not an irrational fear.

If I ran the circus, every single business would be required to have a working rest room available to the general public. A Port-A-Potty is better than nothing. I fear that you passed on your irrational fear of Port-A-Potties to your poor daughter.

When I opened this story, I wasn't expecting a discussion of physics, trajectory, and gymnastics.<br />
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I doubt if Mr. Science has covered it in the same way.<br />
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And I apologize for laughing.