I Am Beyond Frustrated....

While speaking to my best friend I begin to cry. I am beyond frustrated with the Saudi Arabian government. You would think being Muslim I would some how be okay with what is going on.

Ironically, I am not okay. The more I come to know about the Saudi government; the more I despise them, and the more I despise them, the more I want to see them all burn in jahannam(hell-fire).

As I begin to speak to her, my heart really broke. I explained to her that the royal Saudi government sees my marriage as a sham before Allaah, because I am not Saudi. Even though I am a Muslim. While there is no real need of explanation she herself is going through the same thing with the government of UAE.

The difference between stories is that somehow her in laws accept her, and my in-laws wish a hole in the Earth would open up and swallow me whole.

While I love my husband so much, and would do anything within the realm of Islaam to please my in-laws, I must say I am growing tired of them and this full of crap government.

I have never contemplated divorce until now. While it's not been a whole month since my husband has been gone, it does feel like an eternity. I have never had the feeling of being shut completely out of someone's life until now.

I know I am complaining about it, yet, I still do not know what to do. Should I stay married to a person where they will never fully stand up for me in the government and their family. Should I always be the person always looking in?
Should I let him go to find true culture happiness with another that is like him?

Am I stupid to think that my husband will change and face this monarchy that is ruled by blood and clans names?

What should I do? I never pictured my life like this? I never picture my marriage like this? I am so frustrated I can not even think straight. Why?! Oh! Why?! Is that one of the hardest decisions of my life?

Should I greet my husband with a happy face at the airport, when I know that behind him is a lingering facade that he's not telling and I dare not speak of?

What should my reactions be? I know I am not happy, but yet, how can I tell him to find his way without me?! Would I be a loser to let this marriage go?!

I am just beyond frustrated and yet I have no clue what to do.
jinan30 jinan30
26-30, F
1 Response Jan 7, 2013

It seems to me not worth it to scrap your marriage over frustration with the government. I'm assuming your husband or in-laws are not some kind of high-ranking government officials with the power to change anything. We as normal citizens just need to laugh at and/or try to accept the foolishness of modern governments. I am originally from the U.S., and I am constantly amazed by the foolishness of my country's government (both sides of the well-known divide). It's as if all the responsible adults disappeared and left a bunch of ill-mannered, selfish, and unruly children in charge. That these spoiled rotten "children" are educated adults in their 40s, 50s, and 60s just makes it all the more embarrassing.

paskyno:

I guess you are right. I can't picture my life without my husband, but at the same time I feel like his whole monarchy government is crap. But to divorce I guess it would seem silly to say the reason is the Saudi government. Thank you for the jolt of reality.