Not Quite Sure What Happened

A little back-story. When I was 10-12, my older sister molested me. At 13, I was raped. 
I became consensually sexually active since I was 16 (Will be 4 years in July) and have more or less enjoyed sex. I am in a relationship with a man I am positive I will spend the rest of my life with... I am so deeply in love with him. Tonight we just had sex and I came to the realization... I hate sex.
Ever since the rape, my lady parts have not been quite right. I don't secrete as much lubrication as I should, I have VERY random menstrual cycles, I am tight to the point of painful, and I can rarely 'get off' with a partner. Sex usually leaves my lady parts burning and raw, even if I use enough lube to grease an elephant. Occasionally, it hurts enough to make me cry. This has never really bothered me before, but tonight, I guess I just snapped.
I am very sad at not being able to please my partner. Part of his pleasure comes from mine. I suppose I'll talk to him later tonight... and deal with how 'abnormal' I am.
I'm glad I found this forum... society today is so sex-obsessed I was scared that I wouldn't be able to find anyone with my problem.
Painlady Painlady
2 Responses May 19, 2012

To me that sounds something a) serious b) curable.
I am not expert but is this some kind of fridigity thing caused by your past.
Sex terapeut could help you so that you would have the natural lubrication and more relaxed vagina. After that you should make a new judgment about sex

Maybe you have a hormonal problem. I have abnormal periods and found out I had polycystic ovaries. Caused by a hormone imbalance, and weight gain. Vaginal dryness is very common with menopause and hormone imbalance. Polycystic ovaries can lead to early menopause if not treated. Go to your gyno and get checked for the physical problem. Go to counseling for the mental health and pick up the courage to heal at you local book store it helped me deal with my sexual abuse but be sure to get lots of tissue you will need it along the way. Love live laugh