I Really Hate It. Yet I Smoke...

Uugh I hate smoking.. I think it's so disgusting, I can't stand the smell, the taste, or the smoke. When people are smoking around me, and I'm not I almost get kind of dizzy. When my boyfriend smokes while I'm sleeping, I'll wake up because of the smell. Uuughh.. Yet I'm a smoker, and I started when I was about 13 I think, then I've been smoking with a few "breaks" cause I was doing it behind my parents back so it wasn't always possible. I was never able to say no to pick it back up either, so now at 22 I still smoke and I have probably been really addicted to them since I was 19 and moved to live on my own. Blech! but now I think about quitting every single day. I can't stand it anymore.
However I just know that I don't have the willpower at the moment to lay off of them. I'm also trying to lose weight and be more active overall, I am trying to do so many other things to improve my life in a slow pace. I know I'll just end up falling back on it if I try. I've tried quitting many times. I guess I feel that I can't both "stop" eating and smoking at the same time. Silly...
It could also be that at the same time I feel it's so nasty, it's also comforting and "cozy" and the cigarettes can really make me relax when nothing else can. Pfff...

VannaZanna VannaZanna
22-25, F
3 Responses Nov 3, 2011

I have the same situation. I hate smoking, but smoke. I have each day the same thought for 5 years already, that I have to stop tomorrow. Well this week is the stop week. I will let you know if it worked out. <br />
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About eating: You can not stop eating, food is needed for life. Change your eating habits and change your life style. Only then you will be able to loose weight and keep it.

Maybe it will! I could imagine that, it's not stupid at all =)

Yeah when stressed out or bored, I can really drain a pack of 20 fast!<br />
Thank you, I hope so too. I know I don't want to be a smoker till I die... and from it possibly too.<br />
Haha nicodemon, I like that! Imma use that, is that okay? :P