Sunday Stories

What is it about sundays, they are always the days, for me, where any progress i make to improve myself or try to create a happier life, just seems to come undone. Its like trying to climb a stair case, and every sunday is a gap where a missing stair should be, which i just fall into every time, back down to the bottom.

I guess the worst part of this "sundayitis" is that i KNOW every sunday im gonna feel like ****, placibo effect?.

Im not really sure why sundays are so bad for me, but ive put it down to this, monday-friday all i think about is the weekend, in which ill be able to see the people that help me, again, its like climbing that stair case, at the top are my friends, family, everything that give me a reason to be happy, and ofcourse weekends also offer new oppitunities, which i try to take advantage of (ie. meeting new people). But i can see the step just past my friends/family, is another "sunday gap".

There is no excitment without dread.

So what acually happens on these sundays?, I say goodbye to my friends, i come home, My family slowly gets back to thier own lives/houses (which i probly envy), and the house is left too quiet/empty and just damn lonely. And then im left with myself and my ****** little sunday, its like the day of the week everything gets taken from me, not to mention the dread of another week of work. It just doesnt make sence, its ****** day of the week, yet it has such an effect, and all i can do is GUESS why sundays hit me so hard. 

I can have a great weekend, like i just have..but as soon its sunday all the excitment/happiness/optimisim just turns into depression, without any trigger, it just happens. At the same time i dont know whether im just blaming my depression on a ****** day cuz i have nothing else to blame or are sundays truely are the biggest bullsh*t day of the week?.

Every sunday KILLS me, i hate it, the only relief ive found is trying to sleep through it, except i cant sleep at night on a sunday, i dont know why, i can only sleep during the day on a sunday. Maybe its because sunday are too quiet, especially at night.

Theres no real point to this story, i guess im just trying to figure myself or sundays out. And yes, i have written this on a Sunday...i guess im just venting.... 

 

 

username13 username13
26-30, M
3 Responses Mar 22, 2009

Arghhh!! It's Sunday and I'm anxious!!

Ehh! Yea, it still gets me but with less intensity Thanks to meditation. Have you tried meditating?

your first paragraph I shared on FB that's how strongly I feel the same. . . .

So its sunday again, Not suprisingly I again feel like total dogsh*t. I guess this is where i'll keep a log of my ****** sundays. So here it is:<br />
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This weekend has been filled with relationship issues. A break up, A misunderstanding, A possible new relationship. These aren't all about me, However I've been the person thats been confided in by the people involved in these relationships. <br />
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Its kinda strange how I can try to help others with thier issues, and somehow see through thier issues, which hopefully leads to me giving advise that helps. Yet i couldn't figure myself out if my life depended on it, Its odd how the people will never know that the rock they lean on is a cracking mess. <br />
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I guess this site is my rock.<br />
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This all leads me to think "Should I even be trying to help these people?, If I'm a mess I could just be setting them up to make a mess for themselfs too". I myself have been faced with a choice, Go into a relationship or stay single, which confuses the hell outta me, I've never wanted to be single but recently I kinda have, then this happens...My old ideas clashing with my new ones.<br />
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I don't think I can go into this relationship, because I don't believe the love that shown to me by others, I don't know why, I know in my head someone may love me...but never in my life have I cared if I was loved or not, and I've never "felt" it in the way the someone can "feel" happiness,sadness ect. <br />
I dont even know if i am meant to "feel" it. <br />
I almost get a rush of hate when someone tries to be affectionate towards me, I don't know why, maybe it's all I've ever known and the change is just too great. I have a chance to possible find happiness, yet I'm too afraid to let go of what I've always relied on, Anger and Depression. <br />
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Sometimes I find myself trying to make myself feel depressed, I can be in a good mood, Then almost purposely start thinking about things that I know will bring me down...I'ts like I hate depession but i love being depressed...what the ****?<br />
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How does this make sence, How am i meant to beat it if I'ts my world, I dont even know if i want to beat it anymore. I only ever feel inspired when i have negative emotions running through me, Hence these posts.<br />
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Negativity is my reason for being alive, How the hell does that work?<br />
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Its funny how a thought may be in my head, But it only comes into my conscience thinking when im writting this Sh*t. <br />
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Its all so stupid, I wish i had more to say for some reason, But im all out