It Just Makes Things Worse

I take antidepressants to help with my depression because when I get depressed, I get suicidal. The problem is that the medicines that I've tried don't work and the one I'm taking now just makes everything worse. What happens is that when I get depressed, I usually get hostile and violent.But when I take the medicine, it takes away the hostile tendencies, but doesn't help the underlying depression, so instead of getting angry, I get very depressed, to the suicidal point. The only thing that actually does help and takes away both the hostile-ness and depression is my fiance. Whenever I get that way, she just puts her arms around me and everything seems better. I forget all the pain and anger I had just moments before and become normal again. Without her I honestly would have already taken my own life. She has saved me, and I will never let her go for that.
CDarkFreedom CDarkFreedom
18-21, M
Aug 8, 2010