Texas, Lol

I moved to Texass from NY and holy ***** ******* Christ was that a mistake.

Everyone said, "Hey Texass is great, all kinds of jobs, opportunity and money to be made!" lol, I said screw it, lets give it a go.

After arriving in Austin (the supposed open-minded Mecca of TX) I looked at my car to make sure it was still the car I drove here in and not a Delorian. It was as if I just got out of a time machine.

The list as to why Texass is arguably the most horrible geographical location just short of Soviet Moscow circa 1978 is far too long. Instead, I'll use simple to understand bullet points (even fat headed, thin lipped, squinty eyed Texans can understand).

-Food. Where did all the good food go? Is this the state where every failed idea goes to die? Deep fried butter? Tex Mex (lol)? Jesus. Texas, headbutt a train.

-Motorists. Next time you're at a stoplight look at the dipshit Texan's car next to you. Notice all that brake dust on their front rims? Yeah, that's from mashing on their breaks like the spastic dipshits they are.

-Boat shoes. Seriously? The ocean is 500 miles away, you aren't a boat captain, you don't own a boat and sperry's are never cool. Here's an idea, **** off.

-Fat people. Yes, everything is bigger in Tx.

-Y'all. :facepalm:

No one says this except you, dipshit. We have names. Judging from your fat assed body it's really not a surprise you're lazy to the point you start making up words to short cut multiple word comments.

Go play in traffic.

-Bragging. Really? What's to be proud of? A desert? ****** food? Beating up a bunch of ill equipped ranch mexicans at the Alamo? Let me know when you guys have something to brag about that doesn't involve clogging your arteries.

-The road system. Triple threat what the ****. I seriously think that's how TX pads their employment numbers. Just employ all the highschool football players after graduation to build roads to nowhere.

Again, I will add to the list. I can't even remember all the pitiful characteristics of the state of Texas it was so bad.

To conclude, if you are considering moving to Tx just goto Walmart on a Wednesday night at 1am. Take a look around at all the broke down dipshits. Imagine a state full of them. Now you don't have to move to Tx to experience it.

Texas, please secede. You're a boat anchor. Without you our nation's IQ would skyrocket, our teen pregnancy would plummet but most of all- we wouldn't have to be embarrassed of you anymore.
EmpireStateOfMind EmpireStateOfMind
9 Responses Jan 23, 2013

Yes, moving to Texas was a huge Mistake. If I wasn't married!!!! I wouldn't be here. The people are filthy, they don't care what they look like and lots wear dirty clothes. Lot of fat people. Nothing good about Texas!!! It's all HYPE! Smart, Great looking stylish people with class, DON'T LIVE IN TEXAS, they live everywhere else but Texas. It's true, redneck hillbillies!!!

Texas is the ****. I make a killing in Houston but I have been here my whole life. No thank you NY, too many horrible memories of destruction and sadness.


texas is the cancer of america, it's the tumor of america, they're all going to die of lung cancer from all that air pollution, look it up on stateoftheair the american lung associonate website, I won't even say the **** word texass out loud when I pray against that state I say "that hell hole of a state below oklahoma that starts with a t" I feel that texass is so evil saying it's name is the equivalent of saying "lord voldemort" in harry potter hahahaha

Well,You should have left Your attitude in New York.

Hysterical and painfully true!

keep ranting, it's therapeutic.

You sound like a little b****.

aww was you scared?