Alexandra

I'm in love with a girl named Alexandra. She lives in the same state, but still lives miles away from my city. It sucks a lot to be in a relationship with anyone because you both will do certain things or say a specific thing that will make one or both of you wonder how much greater it is to actually be together instead of your distance now. I have had lots of online relations in the past 3 years, but this girl is absolutely my last. The waiting game is torture, because I'm impatient and seeing couples at school all the time makes me green with envy because when I get home I can't even do what's close to what I'm seeing almost each day at school, (people like make out in the halls, and dry hump in public) and to me it feels like I'm just some guy who is getting angry at every person because the have a real relationship. It certainly seems not fair, because I'm a hopeless romantic and most these guys seem like they don't deserve the girls they take for granted, but of course these girls must like being taken advantage and not care about themselves in a certain aspect. I sometimes get really angry when my online girlfriend doesn't text me for a couple hours or days without any say, but when she does come back I try to hide my anger because she always has an excuse like her Internet shut off so she couldn't text me (we have iPods, not phones so we have to rely on wifi connection) and I feel like a **** being mad at her hen she basically had no control over it. Currently she hasn't texted me ever since like yesterday and that's all it takes for me to have an attitude towards her, but all I have to do is smoke a lot of weed and be under the influence of other drugs to mask my pain and anger of her whenever she leaves me. I know a day or two isn't anything to be angry over, but I seriously can't help it. I'm high of weed and pills right now and I'm starting to forget all about her and I feel good. But still torturous on a daily basis. 
ChristopherRush ChristopherRush
18-21, M
May 25, 2012