I Have Such A Hard Time Not To!

I really try not to complain about myself because i know everyone find its irritating and think one does it only to seek compliments and attention but i honestly despise the way i look. 
I have grown up being the ugly duckling in the family, being this child that we need to somehow change its appearance, and its still the same.
I think that as ive grown up hearing how ugly i am i havent learned how to appreciate myself because i see only the negativity in myself. 
Sure i am not obese, but i am overweight according to the all the doctors I've had to see, my looks are somewhat average according to my parents and people would compliment my personality rather than my looks states my sister.
Having that voice telling me how ugly i am i have such a hard time accepting compliments and believing them. I wish i could just wake up one day looking different but i know that wont happen, i guess i have to either accept myself or somehow change myself..naturally still pondering on which one to do but its been 17 years and i still dont like the way i look.
UmbraEyes UmbraEyes
22-25, F
Jan 23, 2013