Ptsd

Who else is experiencing this? After going through this ordeal I have a hard time trusting anyone.
BZ1988 BZ1988
36-40, F
1 Response Jan 12, 2013

I experienced it for sure. It destroyed my previous marriage and turned it into complete chaos. Thankfully my current husband did a great deal to heal the damage my former husband had done, but it still took me a very long time to get my trust in men back.

I'm slowly healing as well. I've been exercising and meditating more, though i still find myself pulling away from relationship opportunities. My ex has apologized to me and wrote a long and heartfelt letter explaining himself and his hopes to make amends (though i will never get back together with him). I am glad that the ex has finally admitted he is addicted to ****, and I personally believe that excessive **** use is what gives birth to fetishes. I sent him a link for the TED talk about your brain on ****, and it clicked with him. What happens is that what starts off as wanking to a penthouse magazine eventually escalates to more extreme forms of ****. As the brain attenuates to certain vanilla images, it becomes "boring" and seeks novelty to obtain the dopamine rush. Thus the escalation to bondage, femdom, cuckolding, trans ****, gay etc. in a user that up until that time has identified as "straight". Strong emotional responses, such as fear, revulsion and anxiety (emotions that accompany sharing
and cuckolding) heighten the dopamine hit. By this time the excessive **** user may be experiencing **** induced ED, (not treatable by meds) which compounds the feelings of shame and inadequacy and further cements the image in his mind that he is destined to be a cuckold. When the reality is that the entire scenario is a result of excessive **** use.
My ex had an epiphany when I sent him these links. We cried together talking about it. He has joined a **** addiction group online, which is helping his self esteem and confidence. Though our relationship is over I am his biggest cheerleader and I am rooting for him to stay in recovery. I would love for him to heal from this and eventually enter into a healthy relationship. His pursuit of cuck relationships has led to sorrow and disappointment, and ultimately, loneliness.
Oddly, once he admitted this, I felt a weight lifted from my shoulders as well. I know that this journey is his own, nonetheless it did feel good to know that he has acknowledged it.

Wow . . . we have so much in common. After my ex and I split up he went into intensive counseling for years. Eventually he came to terms with the fact that the main reason he was into sharing me with other men was because he is bisexual but he had been repressing and denying it to himself for years because he grew up in an environment which made him very uncomfortable acknowledging and accepting it. Its sad because if he would have admitted it to me when we were married I am sure we could have found a way to deal with it that would not have destroyed our marriage like wife sharing did. When he admitted it to me I also felt a weight lifted from my shoulders and like it, it felt good that he acknowledged it. I certainly hope things get better for you and you eventually meet a truly great man who is your actual soul mate like I have with my current husband.