Alone after a relationship ends

I've been through this so many time....My ex likes to dump repickup and dump again. We are not doing that pattern again. It is not worth the pain. I would rather be alone then be dumped....It seems to be a cycle for him....disclaimer...this is not about him...Its about me and my codependance to people, places and things and how it keeps me stuck from going out and venturing and enjoying being alone by myself in my own company.

I seem to get into a pattern and I wish I was happy being alone I'm just not. I have tried prayer, meditation, exercise and work. The latter seems to be the best medicine; yet the social side takes a toll as I am self employed to boot.

It may also be the rejection/abandonment issues we all feel from time to time. I've read in a book called "Celebrating Solitute" that we need to create a schedule for ourselves. That seems to help. That's my story. I do also find exercise first thing in the morning...early...very helpful. The evenings not so much...maybe more exercise? Someone told me I have to learn to comfort myself and be comfortable in my own skin...whatever that means.
austinyogagirl austinyogagirl
4 Responses May 8, 2012

I'm so sorry to hear that we have been doing the same cycle now for over a year! Don't be like us. Move on. It happened again for us too. We were doing great then he did it again and sabotaged us again every time we are getting close and this time he has health issues. This time he says its for good. Same time as last year very suspicious. We really need to join together and stick together folks as this is not healthy to be with someone who continually breaks up with us. Its not healthy and I am moving on with friends, not lovers to heal from it. Anyone interested in planning their life and moving forward please email me anytime day or night. This weekend I am going camping at a friend's ranch overnight and planning some activities for myself. I truly am sorry for your loss.

My boyfriend and I are on a break and its killing me inside.... It was his choice and I respect that but being alone drives me insane because I only think the worst... Reality is this should be the perfect time to take care of myself but instead I wallow in my own misery!!!! How people manage alone time is beyond me...I'm half to see I'm not the only one:)

I'm sorry to here this Vmary; I would like to add that Alanon meetings have helped tremendously and learned that codependency is as deadly of an addiction as any other substance; that we must make a choice to live. A longtime member told me that if we can feel we have hope to recovery.

I am in similar situation..and feel lonely when he is not around...almost like killing myself..