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Twilight Got Me In Trouble At Work

I used to work in a bookstore, and quite often parents would ask for recommendations or what I thought of a particular book.

When they asked me about Twilight I couldn't help myself. Instead of trying to sell it I told the truth, which is that it was a poorly-written waste of time.

I also used to call Edward "Pedward" for dating teenagers. Think about it, he's around a hundred years old, lives with his "parents", and goes to high school?!

So he hasn't learned or grown at all in a hundred years? WTF? The perfect guy is a pathetic loser? If Edward wasn't a vampire he'd be the star of "Failure to Launch II - The Eternal Adolescent"...

Alright, whatever, uh-huh.

Needless to say I was told to stop discussing the book with customers. Had to revert to making fun of Dan Brown :P
sumnerkagan sumnerkagan 46-50, M 9 Responses Aug 16, 2010

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Hah! Yess! Too funny. Too true.

It's shallow and boooring. A friend recommended it to me and after half a page I nearly fell asleep and felt as if I have had too much sweets. Yuck!

haha I hate the Twilight books as well as the movies.

you are NOT kidding... so many women actually BELIEVED that out there was a forever-young, eternally-romantic sap like that uber-anxsty, constipated blowhard. Wait... was THAT my BIG GIRL voice???

lol actually _I_ am a forever young, eternally romantic sap, but I play a grownup in my day job ;)

Well, I do not condemn the forever young, eternally romantic saps, because I'm a hypocrite when I do. I do condemn the uber-anxsty constipated blowhard... he looks like he needs a suppository through every single film... the books didn't describe him that way, and the books were complete tripe. {sigh} What are you reading right now?

Right now I'm reading "The Psychopath Test" by Jon Ronson (author of "The Men Who Stare At Goats" and "Them: Adventures With Extremists"). This one's all about psychopaths and the science and culture of the people who study/treat them.

That sounds super interesting. I am re-reading Catch-22. I plan to reread Serpent Mage and Infinity Concerto again as well... will you let me know how that book wraps up?

meh. I was underwhelmed. I tend to prefer empirical texts, and this is just a gonzo romp through the fringes of psychology that touches on psychopaths tangentially. He gets the facts wrong too in some instances - I've read extensively on related topics and several more serious works contradict his assertions convincingly. It's an entertaining read, but basically fluff.

a good non-fiction follow-up to Catch-22 is "On Killing" by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman. It's about how society teaches people to kill in the line of duty and the ramifications of that, with reference to popular culture, ptsd and other psychological factors. Quite chilling.

I will look for it! Thanks! I sometimes get emotionally squeamish to read aberrant psychology stuff. I know that sounds really chicken-sh!t but here's the thing... when you KNOW people with aberrant psychology issues, it sort of makes it less fun reading about it. Most people would find Munchausen's or Munchausen's by Proxy disorders to be intriguing to read about. In my life, I have 3 people with both disorders and it's really really really not pleasant. When you know someone who fakes a heart attack because her husband was angry at her for not paying the mortgage but the money was still gone; it becomes less interesting to know why she did it. The non-fiction I'm reading now are a series of medical journal stuff. It's interesting. But it's frustrating. Medical journal stuff is like reading a list of facts that are plain to see... and then having someone explain in great detail with million-dollar-words that your own eyes are deceiving you and that the REAL meaning of the facts you read was the exact opposite of what you read. It's like legalese and fantasy fiction merged into one genre. I don't recommend it.

I will read your suggestion! Thanks

ouch! glad you're free and still with us...

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For the most part by not buying the book, although I was also very good at loading them up with stuff I _did_ approve of - or if it had to be vampires, at least something with a strong female lead instead of the brain-dead cipher Bella. This series has done untold harm to the romantic expectations of a generation... many a lonely heart in the years to come will be down to adolescent daydreams of Pedward.

LOL, how did the customers react?

I probably would have greeted the customers this way: "Welcome Twi-tards. We have merchandise here, get your Twi-tard merchandise here. Twi-moms... the WOMEN'S sizes of t-shirts you'll regret buying are in the back."

lol, i would have done the same in your shoes.

at least your honest.