Hate Even More! Dreading September!!!

Ohhh help :(

I'm so worried about September. This is a long story but I will try to cut it short.

I never wanted to go to uni but I am thankful because it got me out of being in the middle of no where. My father says that uni is the way for money. Well actually I am in more debt than I can ever imagine. Debt aside. I hate my course and I am a failure and have had to lie to my parents which I hate. I feel so guilty.

I wish I could just tell them but my dad especially is very strict and believes uni is the way for your future and he regrets that he did not go. I tell you I am suffering.

I passed 1st year JUST! Failed 2nd year two or three times I can't even remember. And this year I have failed big time not even handing coursework. I know this is ALL my fault. But I am lazy and not motivated to do anything. I am too worried about working and getting my debts paid. I'm not smart enough, I don't use my brain. Total failure.

So far my parents know I have failed 3rd year which is a lie and I feel bad about it. I have never touched 3rd year. This is like my last chance and when September comes I am going to get "EXCLUDED" or "Re-Register" which I am so embarrassed about. I don't want to face my tutor and I don't know what to tell my parents.

I am in the DEEP. It is all my fault. Sometimes I wish my parents were more laid back I wouldn't have to lie like this. I hate lying. I am like the dumb one of the family. My brother is smart and younger than me. But succeeded with A's which I have never got. My parents are easier on him. I'm under so much pressure I can't cope.

I hate uni. I don't even have any friends there. I'm getting old now and I can't bare to do 2nd year again. Although I'd rather that than being kicked off. I don't know what to tell my parents. I will have shamed the family and let them down. They've helped pay some of my tuition fees and I don't want them to hate me for flushing the money away like that.

There is so much pressure. I am more worried about this than my exams. I have a re-take exam tomorrow but I am in emotional turmoil I am skipping it. I have failed the whole module anways.

Oh :( I just need to write this down. I don't want to be the only person suffering from uni hell. Its comforting to hear other people repeating as well. I don't want to be alone in this embarrassment where you feel as if you have to do this to save face or whatever.

Comments appreciated.

QoS~

QueenOfSpades QueenOfSpades
22-25, F
5 Responses Aug 22, 2007

I can sort of understand where you are coming from. I have started uni and absolutely hate it with a passsion and my parents were all proud of me going to uni and it was difficult telling them i hate it. I told them yesterday and they just said stick to it but i told them straight if things don't get better then i am leaving at christmas. The way i see it is if you can't do it you can't do it. It is a waste of time if your not going to get a degree from it and more importantly a waste of money. Why am i here spending money for something i don't want and most likely won't get anything from.

I suppose... But the thing is... I feel that I have wasted my time at university. I remember being 17 and thinking about university and I would tell my friends "By the time I am finished I will be old..."<br />
<br />
I know where you are coming from. Maybe I should have phrased myself better. I will still be old no matter what but I wish I could have been doing something useful with those years.

About the age factor- you said you are getting too old for school- I can`t remember the whole story, but it goes like this:<br />
A man was telling someone that he would like to go med school, but it took six years, and he was already 40. The other man said `Well, how old will you be in six years if you DONT go to med school?`<br />
Just a thought.

Does your uni have counselors? Maybe there is someone you can talk to about your situation - there might be support or options there for you that you aren't yet aware of?<br />
<br />
I guess the other thing, that is there comes a time in everyone's life when we have to start taking genuine responsibility for our actions and our choices. It's pretty awful, but maybe that is the best lesson you can gain from all of this?<br />
<br />
Good luck :)

Hey Sezziy,<br />
<br />
September is nearing and I don't know what to do :( I have tried hinting to my parents how I don't like my course, how hard everything is but they still insist I keep on with it. It makes me think if I ever have children I would never put them in my situation EVER!!<br />
<br />
Argh. It's so frustrating. And I haven't even been trying either. I missed lessons and haven't had in coursework. Just blank paper with the title so as I can re-take. <br />
<br />
It is a good thing that you are repeating the year. I will probably get kicked off the course. Will let you know what happens.<br />
<br />
Take care and chin up! We'll get through this and if my parents freak out I just have to face it... <br />
<br />
QoS~