University, The Compulsory Evil

Education, nurturing and love were not priorities when I grew up.We were always told we were stupid and useless.The girls in my family  were told we would leave school and get pregnant. I ran away from this horror exsistence when I was 16.My sisters all married and had children. They are all dependant on men for their exsistence. I was determined, I would not end up like that. I wanted to take care of myself. I failed grade 10.I worked for 20 years fulltime and saved and bought my own home. Nothing was going to stop me reach my goal.I tried to get into uni at age 35 and failed my preparation courses. I was devastated and felt stupid. I tried again, and worked very hard. My boyfriend helped me with my maths, but I still failed. I worked on my studies for another 12 months and sat my entry exams in November. I still failed the maths component, but my english was enough to get me over the line.Two days later I was on life support in hospital. 2 months after that, I received a letter of offer from the university of my choice. I am in my 3rd year of Uni. I am in my forties. In the third week of my first semester, I was diagnosed with skin cancer. I also suffer from severe post traumatic stress disorder, which I keep to myself, because, I don't want any sympathy or to use it as a crutch. I don't get high marks, but I do my absolute best. I hate University. I hate how they tell you what to think and not how to think. I hate how some professers are bias and opinionated. I hate how effort isn't recognised. I hate the importance placed on writing essays. Some people are better to express their understanding of topics with verbal skills. I hate being forced to work in groups of snoozers and you end up doing all the work. I hate being taught to hate a country I once admired, or a poet I used to enjoy. It's so hard to continue. It's so demoralising being graded. It's like you are only worthy of exsitence based on your aptitude of a topic. For me, Uni is the compulsory evil. I, like so many others want to get the monkey off my back. 40% of my class has now gone. Uni is a survival of the fittest and I respect those who have baled. I respect them, because it is mental torture and some people prefer not to do that to themselves.I am not stupid. Podium ,here I come. I am graduating in 8 months time. I keep my peers going. I'm doing this alone, with no family and no support. I'm really proud of myself and will never look back!

braton12 braton12
41-45, F
Mar 8, 2010