Come To Utah! Enjoy The Poverty, The Bigotry, The Hatred. Destroy Your Life Today!

I have lived for over twenty years in Moab, Utah. On the surface, it appears to be a really cool town. The scenery is spectacular, the culture not as oppressive as the rest of the state. But don't be fooled.

I do not consider myself a religious bigot. Neither do I consider the Mormon church a religion. It is a business and government entity built on totally corrupt principles. Before I moved here from Arizona, my friends, including two that were Mormon, warned me that a 'gentile' like myself had little chance of success, either socially or financially, in Utah. I wish I had listened. The Mormons truly believe that theirs is the "one true church" and all others are false. They only gave up polygamy and overt racism under intense political pressure, in other words, they would have lost their raison d'etre, MONEY, if they stuck to their beliefs.

They are NOT Christians! They worship only money and power, and thrive on superstition and negativity. Two Mormons together is a mission, more than two is a dangerous mob. Their racism comes directly from their “scripture” which refers to themselves as “white and delightsome” as opposed to a competing group (the Lamenites) as “dark and loathsome.” I kid you not, this is actually what their “holy book” says. If it said that pigs could fly, they would believe this too. You would have to dig up old KKK literature to find anything as repulsive and vile as their most holy doctrines. This same book, which Mark Twain called “chloroform in print,” contains Egyptian drawings that were not able to be translated in the mid-eighteenth century, suggesting that they have various meanings relating to their “theology.” After a watershed known as the Rosetta stone (which I have seen and touched in the British Museum) these drawings could be fully understood as rather boring funerary documents extolling, surprise, Egyptian gods. Even though these are patently false as Christian or even pseudo-Christian works, they remain in the Book of Moron, I mean Mormon, to fool the truly stupid and gullible. The whole thing reads like the rantings of a psychopath, only not as coherent.

Now, if I had moved to Italy, or another country that is undeniably Catholic (or Protestant, or Zoroastrian, or secular) I believe that I could have made a good life for myself, and used my knowledge and education. However the corrupt influence of the xenophobic Mormons makes this impossible. They have many ways of destroying you. Once they have bled you dry financially, destroyed your social life, and threatened you with all manor of frivolous legal actions, they will get down to work really hurting you.

But if you think the culture sucks doggie doo here, get a load of the politics and economy. All you have to do is research Orrin Hatch, and you will know what I mean. This fellow is only slightly more paranoid and conservative than Benito Mussolini, but lacks Il Duce’s square jaw and rousing rhetoric. Benito at least has the common decency to be dead, although a few bullets helped him on his way. A few weeks ago a possibly innocent man was legally shot by a firing squad here in Utah. I am sure they would have rather stoned him, or drawn and quartered him instead. Some call Utah the “Mississippi of the West,” but this is an insult to Mississippi, which is really a rather nice place, or was the last time I spent time there. Utah is really the "Iran of the West" without any visible means of support.

So if you want to experience slum dwelling at its most colorful, nepotism and corruption at its finest, and get taxed into the stone age (including a sales tax on FOOD) come to Utah, where you can alternately freeze and burn up in the miserable climate, and drink water so hard that it is not fit for animals, without any extra effort on your part. You can scavenge for food in the dumpster with other degreed professionals (like I had to at one point) and enjoy a self-esteem boost almost equal to being wrongfully designated a sex-offender. This will happen to you if you are not white and delightsome, like it happened to the entire black population of this town, who is a very nice man, without any perverse or dangerous tendencies at all, other than his ethnicity and the fact that he is a Jehovah Witness. You will also enjoy the local Volkswagen Museum (don’t even think of calling it a wrecking yard) across the street from the old car crusher, and the lovely row of meth labs disguised as foul, fetid trailers. Check out the dead tram to nowhere (Alaska eat your heart out) and the many miners’ shacks with glowing foundations of uranium ore. Why go to the third world when you can get screwed, blued, and tattooed at home? Open up your lungs and smell the radon. Tour the Superfund cleanup sites and decide for yourself if this is where you want to raise your mutants. Stop by Tumors R’Us for the latest in “mystery meat.” Add some glowing green Jello salad, made with fresh, steaming effluent from your tap, and your Mormon family reunion will be complete.

ronmorris ronmorris
6 Responses Jul 10, 2010

So true. I have lived my whole life in this terrible state and hope to one day move away. I grew up LDS until I grew up and learned to think for myself. My grandmother honestly told me the exact words above, that we were the "one true church" and even if other churches were a little bit good, none of them would be in the highest kingdom of heaven with the Mormons. And having been out of church for the last decade of my life I can tell you it is very true that you do not fit in and you will miss out on many opportunities, jobs, kids won't hang out with your kids just because they don't go to the "ward" activities. The ONLY reason we are still here is because it has a relatively low crime rate and better economy than some states... but it's also very true that everyone AND there dog has a college degree or even a master's degree and there's 50 of us fighting for the same entry level job. I've never seen so many college graduates making less than $10.00 an hour for their full-time job and they're often the breadwinner in their family. But they believe as long as they pay their 10% tithing on any income earned "they will be saved" from the fire that will engulf the earth at the second coming of Christ. I am not ******** you, these are the exact teachings at past Sunday school classes.

I'm a black man in Utah and, no lie, I'm either shunned or used like an accessory.<br />
"Look! I'm cool! I know a black person! LOOOOOK!"<br />
And when I open my mouth and articulate words come out, the gangsta-thug illusion is ruined.<br />
<br />
Don't even get me started about finding a decent job. The glass ceiling is well-polished here and very, very low to the floor. It makes it hard to escape.<br />
<br />
It's a *little* bit better in Salt Lake. But only just so. The air is still filthy.

Good luck finding a job if you don't fit in with the cult. Someone told me they actually visually scan your clothes during an interview to see if you're wearing those ridiculous undergarments (i.e. will you fit in). Mostly what I see is moneyed trash, and and a world of wannabees. The people are droll--probably the best word to describe them, and the day to day drudgery is enough to make you want to scream after a while. I guess the best advice I can give you is keep a serious eye on your wallet. There's a lot of crooks here and people with their hands out and people in positions where they clearly don't belong owing to the shameless nepotism and buddy-ism there exists in the job market here. Ineptitude reigns supreme everywhere you go. As far as social it's either people who are extreme mormon or people who are hell-bent on proving they aren't. and it's hard to find a happy medium. I wouldn't hang around here for very long as you can easily get trapped in this desert hell if you're not careful. Unless you plan on buying into the house with the picket fence, the wife or husband, the 4 or so kids along with all the rest of it, I'd keep a firm, open eye on the interstate. Dating options aren't exactly the greatest and the night spots I've seen are fairly wanting and the alcohol watered down. Stay away from mixed drinks, they're a total rip-off. I'm almost done with the death sentence myself and out of here by end of this month so good luck with your decision to stay for a time; just remember what I said about keeping one eye on the interstate, and the other one on your wallet. Seriously, good luck. You'll need it.

Your post made me laugh and cry,I used to think pretty much everyone had good inttentions untill I moved here. Never before in my life have I had to strugle with myself when it came to getting along with people untill i moved here. I have had it with my husband being called a fallen angeal at work, and that my 6 yrold is going to hell. Honestly I have never seen so much meaness from one group in my life than Utah Mormons, I say this because all of the Mormons I have known before were very nice and open minded, maybe its the radon

Well, Orrin Hatch has a gay nephew, who is a closely guarded secret. His name is Craig Hatch. He likes to do meth, and can be found on as BigBadBear. I lived in Utah for ten years. And, it is true that you are nothing in Utah, if you don't belong to the Mormon Church. Very bad place to be, if you want to make a go of it.

You ar crazy. Utah is great. I know Ive lived in other states.