You Need To Be Bridezilla! It's A Must...

 My parents are divorced, my mother hates my father and stepmother and vice versa, I didn't even want a wedding, but my hubby-to-be wanted a wedding and my stepmother wanted me to have a wedding, and offered to pay for it (which was very nice, and I am very grateful) . So, I said yes to the wedding and agreed to have my parents pay (since I don't have any money to pay for such a thing anyway). Because my stepmother asked (and is paying), she took me dress shopping to buy me a wedding dress. I told my mother about the dress (who didn't seem at all interested in my wedding), and she ended up sending me a 10 page single-spaced typed letter about how awful of a daughter I was and how she is not going to attend my wedding. That aside, my hubby-to-be comes from a big family and wants to invite everyone, but my parents wanted to keep it smaller (but with fine items for the reception). My fiance doesn't care about fine stuff, but would like more people (he doesn't want to offend people in his family). That led to a huge blow up between my fiance and my parents with each party saying nasty things and with me trying to calm everyone down and get along. This is absolutely pure torture. I now understand why there is such a thing as Bridezilla, you have to be Bridezilla so that everyone else can hate you rather than hating each other. Unfortunately, I don't have it in me to be Bridezilla 

TryingToBeBridezilla TryingToBeBridezilla
26-30, F
4 Responses Mar 2, 2010

Hi, will you please update how your wedding turned out? Ugh to your mom's letter. But I don't sense a Bridezilla attitude from you. I sense that you wanted peace a day that is supposed to be special and life-changing with pure family support. :)

This is another reason why if/when I ever tie the knot with someone, I'll call my parents and let them know, and then we're eloping. If family members want to attend the party with throw a few weeks after the fact, it's up to them. Nobody pays for it so no one can ***** and moan. Families can be stupid and I know mine would be all dramatic because my parents are divorced and the two sides of the families hate each other.

This is more or less *exactly* the situation that a colleague described to me a few months ago, in planning his wedding. This sort of rancor must come up with startling frequency. Kudos to you for taking it upon yourself to be the lightning rod.

This is why I will either elope or just do a very small private wedding.....<br />
<br />
You need to stand up for yourself... it seems like everyone is making YOUR wedding about THEM. It should be about you and your fiance and the life you are creating together. I agree.... you have to be a bridezilla and set your boundaries so that you can have the wedding you want. It's like the only time in your life you can be selfish, so enjoy it!! <br />
<br />
Don't let them get to you... it's family, stressing you out and giving you a hard time is in their nature.<br />
Remember, this one's about YOU (well, and your fiance :) )